Overheard on the TTC

By Siobhan Mogensen and Nicole Schmidt

Whether it be a disgustingly early morning commute or a drunken transit adventure, at all hours of the day the TTC seems to serve as a breeding ground for unusual conversations. Eavesdropping often yields laughable results. Here’s the best of what we’ve overheard.

“Please enter through the front doors. Just remember, Big Brother’s watching.” —Dundas streetcar driver
“Apparently I kiss my teeth in my sleep.” —Drunk gangster boy on the Queen streetcar
“I gave up racism in 1997.” —Drunk gangster boy’s friend on the Queen streetcar
“We’re going left because I’m left handed. And because Beyoncé says so.” — Drunk girls exiting the streetcar
“Fucking drivers. It’s like they get their licenses out of a cereal box.” — Electrician on the bus
“You stayed up all night crying and snorting coke? I’m trying to work all day and start a family.” — Some guy on the phone on the subway
“I’d rather do drugs than have sex. I’m never getting married again.” — Middle aged man on the Queen streetcar
“She told Josh you stuff your bra. I looked at her and said, ‘you have no right to tell him that.'” — Teenage girl on the Queen streetcar
“I was like, ‘you smell disgusting.’ And she was like, ‘I took a shower this morning.’ And I was like, ‘well, it didn’t work. No one likes you and your ratty ass hair and your ratty ass face.’ I was on a roll.” — Teenage girl’s friend on the Queen streetcar
“You better not touch that fucking pay phone. It’s reserved for people who want to talk to God!” — Some man at the Queen and Church stop
“Where are you going? I ain’t goin’ up those stairs!” — A woman shouting at her friend at Kennedy Station. Submitted by Robert.