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TRAIN 48 STILL PLAYING ON TV

TORONTO–As thousands of commuters pile on to the GO trains at Union Station tonight, a thought crosses many of their minds: Is that shit show Train 48 still on the air?

“I completely forgot about it. Didn’t Global cancel it ages ago?” asks Michael Leonard, a banker who commutes from Whitby to Toronto every day. “It was okay at first, I guess, but is there actually a following to support it?”

Despite Leonard’s obvious inability to operate a remote control, Train 48 is still on Global, regularly beating its timeslot competition of that Magic Bullet infomercial and the Comedy Channel’s Random Canadian Comic Gets Half Hour of Government Grant Money Special. “It’s going to be a really big year for the show,” says excited Train 48 producer Joel S. Watkins.

Watkins alludes to future storylines involving a spilled cup of coffee, one pivotal character that misses the train one evening, and, if all goes according to plan, a special episode where Brenda adopts a crack-addicted child, only to find out she is now going to have to marry its real mother in order to stay in the country.

Also, Jamie Farr joins the ensemble cast come May. “They should really have someone just fall asleep on the train — that’s what I do,” says avid Train 48 fan Trey Stone. “Or, if that Dana girl would get naked. That’d be the shit.”

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