Toronto Metropolitan University's Independent Student Newspaper Since 1967

All Fun & Satire

Man unintentionally holds door for other man

By Ian Yamamoto

Toronto local Gus Fletcher mistook a man walking behind him, one Justin Holloway, for a woman and held the door for him.

Witnesses say Holloway, five feet five inches, 130 pounds, has large blue eyes, a fair complexion and blonde shoulder-length hair.

Fletcher initially described Holloway as “just my type” and reportedly loved the fact that he was wearing all denim.

“I thought I’d hold the door like a gentleman and shoot her a smile. Then she’d say thank you, and that’d be my in,” said Fletcher.

“But when I turned around it was a guy. I kinda had to squint a bit to make sure because he had bangs, but it was definitely a guy. A soft-skinned, blemish-free guy. What really sucks is I was trapped holding that door, smiling, because I was about five seconds ahead of him.”

Sources say Holloway, upon noticing Fletcher holding the door, picked up his pace into a half-run, half-speedwalk. Upon reaching Fletcher, Holloway looked at the ground and gave a quiet thank you.

Fletcher was last seen subtly modifying his walking speed so as to be far enough ahead of Holloway to not feel obliged to hold the upcoming door.

Leave a Reply