By Palakh Khanna
Welcome to a questionnaire all about you. Delve deep into yourself, your interests and preferences to ultimately decide a very important question: should you start your own podcast or just go to therapy?
Do you listen to podcasts?
A. Yes, but only during midnight showers.
B. Nah, they’re too boring; it’s just like watching a recorded lecture.
C. Yes! And I TORTURE my family by blasting them while I wear my headphones and listen to songs.
Have you ever tried to make a podcast?
A. Yes, but it was such a flop, only my mom’s Facebook friends listened to it.
B. Nope, playing FIFA is more important to me.
C. Sounds like a great way to kill time other than re-watching Modern Family—will try!
D. IS THAT A THING NOW?
Do you want to start a podcast?
A. Let me get my hands on a fancy microphone and you’ll see magic happen.
B. AM I EVEN CAPABLE OF MAKING ONE?
C. Can you guarantee I’ll go viral? Then I’m in.
D. Podcasts aren’t, like, really my thing…
Have you ever gone to a therapist?
A. Yes! It was a little awkward though because the therapist started to cry and tell me about their problems.
B. Would I have to tell someone my feelings? I’m not disclosing anything.
C. Yes, I’m obsessed with therapy! I go whenever I can!
D. No, I’m too scared to go.
Are you scared of sharing your emotions?
A. Yes, people are very judgemental. I know this because I’m a judgemental person.
B. No, I blabber too much so people either know me a little bit or know absolutely EVERYTHING.
C. I’ve never tried it.
D. No, my trick is to stay silent and absorb other people’s secrets. 😈
Who was your number one artist on Spotify Wrapped last year?
A. The Red Queen, Taylor Swift!!!
B. Shawn Mendes, but I only listen to him for his looks.
C. The man, the myth, the legend: Drake.
D. Who checks that thing anyway?
What’s your go-to conversation starter?
A. It’s the boring: “The weather’s so [insert adjective] today.”
B. What secret conspiracy would you like to start?
C. I use my list of pick-up lines, they come super easy to me 😉
D. Do I really need to plan this?
What would you like your podcast to be about?
A. Egyptian mummies and why morticians should return to mummification again. Sounds cool.
B. Trending TV shows? I’ll need suggestions though because I only watch YouTube Vine compilations.
C. Zodiac signs! For the thousands of lonely souls checking their compatibility with forever-changing crushes.
D. What if I NEVER want to start one?
Mostly As: Start a podcast!
You should definitely start a podcast. Your enthusiastic, outgoing and extroverted personality would make you quite an interesting host to say the least. Your out-of-the-box ideas and compelling questions would draw the audience towards your podcast immediately and GET THEM HOOKED. It’s also the perfect way to continue having your favourite type of chats: one-sided conversations where it’s all about YOU.
Mostly Bs: Go to therapy!
You might want to explore the world of therapy. You’ll gain perspective on past events, understand your behaviour and ultimately get a friend to talk to! Sure, they’re not actually your friend and you’re paying them to listen, but at least someone’s listening to you, right? Therapy is a great way to look deeper into your soul and ultimately pause and reflect.
Mostly Cs: Start a podcast with your therapist!
Starting a podcast with your therapist will be a great way to let out your thoughts and feelings with an attentive conversation partner. Your passion for talking and encouraging conversations will definitely help you in this setting. This combination will be a fun, interactive way to let out everything you want. Bonus: you can get that sweet podcast advertising revenue.
Mostly Ds: Just live your life, dude
Don’t do either. Enjoy what you’re doing right now and take it easy. When you feel ready, you could start a podcast and let yourself loose and visit a therapist too. Get the best of both worlds, just like Hannah Montana!