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What kind of beverages do students enjoy on St. Patty’s day?

By Konnor Killoran

Disclaimer: Know your drinking limit—Stay within it. 

In honour of St. Patrick’s Day, university students across the country are gearing up for a day filled with green beer and boozy shenanigans. According to recent studies by the Canadian Alcohol Beverage People (CABP), different university majors seem to have varying preferences when it comes to their celebratory libations. The Eyeopener was able to get an inside scoop from students on which beverages they’ll be consuming this St. Patty’s day.

Known for their ability to handle high-pressure situations, nursing students have decided to take things up a notch this year by opting for a Long Island Iced Tea. Why settle for one type of alcohol when you can have five?

Child and youth care majors are looking for something a bit more refined to sip on while they contemplate the future of the world’s youth. They’ve opted for a nice glass of rosé or wine because nothing says responsible caretaker like a buzz and a stemless glass.

Notorious for their “love” of all things math and science, engineering students have decided to skip the drinking altogether and stick to what they’ve dubbed “Green Water.”  An inside source told us it’s the perfect companion to midterm season. It’s basically just water with a substantial amount of Wilton food dye. But who are we to judge?

Politics and governance majors have decided to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day in style with a fine whiskey on the rocks. When you’re going to govern the masses, you might as well do it with a buzz.

Journalism students, famed for being just a tiny bit pretentious, have chosen a nice rum and coke to keep things classy. However, we hear it’s mostly just coke because they have an interview to do at 11:59 p.m. Sometimes, the old ways are the best ways—even when it comes to getting drunk.

Business management majors, who are often found sporting ill-fitting suits, have decided to go with the tried and true method of beer or for the new-age, White Claws. When you’re managing the stress of two classes a semester, you need a drink that’s easy enough to down five of in the span of an hour. 

With their impeccable and elite sense of taste, fashion students have chosen a cosmopolitan cocktail as their drink of choice. Because nothing says “I know high fashion” like blindly sipping on a drink named after a magazine you only brought to populate your coffee table.

Media production majors, who are just looking for a good time, have made the decision to skip the mixer and go straight for the vodka. Who can blame them? It’s efficient, effective and makes for a great story the next morning.

Sport media majors—who are just looking to get fucked up while watching the game—have chosen the Pink Whitney, a pink lemonade-flavoured vodka, as their drink of choice. Because what’s better than combining two of the greatest things in life—sports and alcohol?

Professional music majors, with zest in life to be different, have scouted out pure vanilla extract as their drink of choice, given its 35 per cent alcohol content. The plus side? You can pick up as much as you want without an ID. 

Philosophy majors—always looking for a deeper meaning in everything—have chosen to skip the drinks on St. Patrick’s Day and just smoke weed. Everyone knows the best way to contemplate the mysteries of the universe is to get a little bit (maybe more than a bit) high.

Always looking for ways to improve their health, nutrition majors have chosen a B-52 cocktail as their drink of choice. Because nothing says “I’m serious about my nutrition” like a cocktail layered with three different coffee liquors that you’re meant to drink while it’s on fire. 

Finally, we have the master’s students who stop by the campus pub on St. Patty’s to reminisce about their “better days” as an undergraduate. Remembering all too well the morning after, they decide to skip the booze and stick to something simple but sweet, a good ole glass of water—minus the green food colouring.

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