By Kathy Blessin
Ahh, politics. Like Happy Harry Hard-on said in Pump up the Volume, it’s enough to make your blood burn and your guts go gooey. Yes, boys and girls, it’s election time, you can smell it in the air, but if there is one thing to remember, it is that everything is relative.
Let’s start with the premise that you’ll be voting, because we all know that everyone votes. You should. Just think, you get to choose which candidate to hire. Don’t you feel special? Being a proud Vancouverite, and someone who is always keenly interested in the voting process, I have to say that compared to your compadres out West, your problems here are really something to laugh at. Puh-leese. So The Man overspends. Big deal, what politician doesn’t? So he forces you to take a day off. Pshaw. That’s nothing at all. In BC all the politicians are in bed with each other– literally. They get nasty divorces and go on Oprah to talk about their ordeal. You thought Rae was two-faced? The BC government said it wouldn’t cut down trees while opening the way for logging trucks to motor in and cut down sacred old growth. This is the state of our politics today. Isn’t that sad? Well, no.
It’s time to put things in perspective and look at the bigger picture. Canadians tend to whine about their politics when we should be thanking our lucky stars. Our crime rate is negligible compared to that of the U.S. Our education and medical systems are among the best in the world. Taking it all into perspective, our little quibbles don’t seem so drastic, do they? Canadian politics in general is mild beyond belief compared to even our lovely neighbours to the South (wave to Newt, kids).
So, who should you vote for? Who knows. As we careen along the campaign trail, the race between Rae, McLeod and that other guy is turning into a sort of circus sideshow where the candidates are trying their damndest to ignore the real issues. The vision is gone and the knives are out. I don’t even want to know how many Liberal candidates are running under that banner just to get elected. And that ploy may not work either –– they’re losing their lead fast and it doesn’t look like the undecided are about to lean their way.
As you are all surely reading the papers and watching debates until you know the candidates’ shoe sizes, there’s only one way to decide who to vote for in this provincial election. As a former columnist in this paper put it, vote for the less scummier scum and await the usual results. What else can you do?