By Jarrett Churchill
I’ve grown increasingly disgusted with the aura of corporate radio in this city. CFNY is the culprit. WE all know how out of touch with the music scene they are, but it is the people who listen to CFNY that really piss me off. In particular: Brit Poppers and their elitist attitude. English Music, or as those of us who have a finger on the pulse of cutting edge music like to call it, the re-birth of Glam Rock. Cinderella, Poison and Twisted Sister must be turning in their tights, smearing eyeshadow all over their musical graves at the sight of Blur and Oasis. “Right, well ah, I’m Brit and I can bloody-well play dress-up as much as I want.”
I wonder if these guys use the same bowl to cut hair and the same interrogation lights to get that trademark squint in their eyes.
Even worse than the music are the fans. When you talk to British music fans, who never used to have accents, they suddenly begin to speak and act British. If this is the second British invasion, get me the hell outta here.
And at the center of it all is CFNY: a transplanted British top 40 station in Toronto. The self-professed Brit music ex-patriots cling to every British piece of news the station can shove down their throats. And they love it. Gee…they are so different, almost elitist. Elitist…ha! The music these people listen to is the most popular stuff in England. It’s the Kim Mitchell, New Kids on the Block and treblecharger of the merry-old land of shitty music. Saying this may bring death upon me, but Morrissey is to England what Bryan Adam is to Canada. The English have about as good a chance of producing cutting-edge music as Ryerson has of winning the CIAU football championship.
Brit Poppers don’t understand that there is nothing cutting-edge about their music. They’re no different than teeny-bopper grunge-bunnies, except they can fake an English accent.
The music of Treble Charger, Bryan Adam and Kim Mitchell is garbage (well, “Go For a Soda” isn’t bad) but that’s the point.
The Glam Rock outfits Brits wear are no different than the grunge rock outfits worn by shitty rock bands…I mean “alternative” bands here.
The biggest problem is the elitist attitude, “We’re into all this underground music (insert Brit phrase here to legitimize claim) and it’s foreign, too – cool.” Fuck, Garth Brooks has an accent and his music imported. That doesn’t mean it’s good.