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ROAD TEST: 2010 PONTIAC HORSE SE

By David Goof

REYKJAVIK, Iceland– Pontiac has unveiled the new Horse, an entry-level vehicle available in showrooms next week as a 2010 model.

“With ‘Horse,’ Pontiac will be able to provide an affordable means of transportation, cheaper even than our re-badged Korean models,” said a company spokesperson.

In order to save costs, Pontiac is offering the Horse in only one colour, brown, and in one style, a 4-legged horse. The new Horse will feature a hybrid carrot/celery engine, designed for class-leading fuel economy.

As well, the Horse will come standard with leather seats and full-time 4-WD. Horse blinders are an added extra. The Horse rides as slow as, well, a horse, taking an eternity to get places.

As well, the Horse has a tendency to stall at intersections when it sees other happier horses on the roads. Cheesy bolt-on accessories, such as chrome hooves, will be available for anxious riders to install.

Heating comes via a one-vent system mounted at the rear. Temperature can be adjusted by changing the fuel mixture. Sadly though, despite Pontiac’s fresh take on economical transportation, the Horse is just another flop for the American manufacturer.

Like other new GM models, it could have been so much more, but with its sub-par ride and acceleration, we don’t recommend the Horse.

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