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Down with Dara: Your First Sex Toy

By Bahoz Dara

Adult stores are confusing. With all of the different ropes and probes it can undoubtedly become difficult for one to find something to suit their liking. This is exceptionally true for first timers who have no idea what most of these trinkets do, and for which hole they purpose. However, there is no reason to worry- even the best of us become disorientated and anxious when surrounded by these unknown toys, props, and products. The most effective way of preventing a stress-induced breakdown in the dildo aisle and having it end up on the Internet, would be to explore your options at home prior to actually going on your shopping trip.  Here are some aspects to think about before making a purchase…

The first and most important factor to consider when purchasing a sex toy is your price range. Much like everything else in the broke world of a university student, budgeting is a must. I would highly suggest that if you are purchasing your first toy, that you don’t send your bank account plummeting to its gruesome death. Think about it- what would be the purpose of spending half a paycheck on an object that you may not enjoy, or feel fully satisfied with?  Although you don’t want to spend a small fortune, one must also consider the fact that normally you get what you pay for. Higher priced toys are often better equipped with more features, purer materials, and enhanced aesthetics, but none of this matters if you don’t obtain pleasure from it. Go for something that is appealing, but still maintains a price of about $35.

Once you’ve spoken to your accountant to see how much cash you can afford to spend on your new best friend, the not-so-obvious question arises: what exactly is it that you want to stimulate? There are toys that cater to every sexual part of the body, including the nipples, the prostate, the anus/anal canal, the female g spot, the clitoris, the testes, the penis, and the urethra. Various toys are also multi-use, meaning they can be used on more than one specified area, while some toys can simultaneously arouse two areas (eg. Rabbit vibrators engage both the female g-spot and clitoris at the same time). Go with whatever body feature you’re curious to explore while still remaining at your self-appointed comfort level. Try out whatever toy captures your attention, but make sure when commencing you begin with a safe and comfortable size. You can always upgrade to larger toys in the future when your mind and body are ready.

The next aspect that one should take into account is the motor function(s) of the toy. If you want a toy that vibrates, first consider the speed and strength, and to which degree would it work with your anatomy. If you are unaware of what intensity level would be best, make sure to get a toy in which this component is adjustable. Also, many toys that vibrate come with different pulsating functions, which is a positive feature for many people. To those who wish to obtain additional stimulation, there are toys that have the ability to rotate and move in different directions that are optimal for achieving orgasm.  This portion of toy-hunting can be tough to visualize from home, luckily most adult surplus establishments will demonstrate how the desired product works and will allow you to test the different functions on your hands. If vibrators aren’t giving you the good vibe you want, there also toys that completely lack any vibration feature whatsoever. These mainly consist of different materials best suited for the area in mind, while having different patterns and grooves that increase the desired stimulation (eg. Fleshlight is a male Cyberskin masturbator that contains an incredibly tight and heavily dotted interior, which conditions users and assists them to increase their stamina with real-life partners).

The material that the toy is made of should also be taken into consideration.  Would you like an item that is hard and will aggressively stimulate a g spot or p spot? Then go with a glass toy, or an acrylic. Or if perhaps something a little more soft and realistic would be further desired, then a silicone or Cyberskin toy would be your best bet. Although this too is difficult to visualize, make sure to also test these different textures in person.

Lastly, one should obtain the required additional products in order to attain the best experience from whatever it is they decided upon. Buy a bottle of water-based lubricant because it is 100% toy friendly, and it also increases feeling and eliminates uncomfortable friction. Water-based lube is the staple product everyone should have! Also, pick up batteries at the store if your chosen toy requires them so that you won’t have to steal them out of the television remote and raise suspicion amongst your family members/roommates. Finally, and please for the love of all that is good and clean, buy a toy cleaner. Unless it’s a glass toy that can be boiled after each use, it’s sort of nasty not to appropriately clean an object that has been close and personal with your genitals.  To those who think they can use the Bath and Body Works soap their mother buys for the house, soaps can degrade toy surfaces and leave a pH altering film behind. A toy cleaner will in no way harm your toy, or your body. It gets rid of residual bacteria and is quick and painless. Disregarding proper toy hygiene cannot only impact the visual aspect of the product, but it could also cause infections to those who use it.

So go forth friends, and buy yourself something that will put your nerve endings in their happy place!


  1. Thanks for posting this. Very nice recap of some of the key points in my talk. I hope you and your readers find it useful! Thanks again.

  2. Great and informative post for those who want to try out these toys. But I suggest to buy from some reputed stores and also check their reviews and ratings before purchase.

  3. Wow, what an informative and insightful article! It’s clear that the writer has done their research and is dedicated to providing valuable information about sex toys.

    I believe it’s essential for people to have access to accurate and non-judgmental information about sexual health and pleasure.

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