This is a Nike running shoe.

PHOTO JACKIE HONG

Funvertisement: Ralph Pork

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By Ralph Pork

It is getting colder outside and that can mean only one thing… it’s time to put on those shoes!

I’m Ralph Pork, and I love shoes. I guess you could say I’m a shoe enthusiast. But you can’t say I’m a shoe fanatic. I don’t like it. Stop calling me that.

Shoes protect your feet and they keep your feet warm. Heck, sometimes shoes can even make you look stylish!

Don’t be influenced by hobbits and other anti-shoe activists. Go get yourself a pair of shoes. You can buy shoes at Foot Locker, Aldo, Payless, Sears, Kiddie Kobbler and even Factory Shoe. And I’m sure there’s more where that came from.

In fact, if you notice a place that sells shoes that wasn’t named above, send me an email and I will add it to my list.

If you’re looking for a certain style, there are a number of different shoe brands. There’s Nike, Prada, Vans, New Balance, Converse and even Saucony. And guess what, there may even be more hiding around out there!

In fact, if you notice a shoe brand that wasn’t named above, send me an email and I will add it to my list.

Canadians are accustomed to taking their shoes off inside their houses. But you know ol’ Pork-chop doesn’t play by those rules. In my home I scatter stray shards of glass on the floor to make those who disrobe their feet pay the ultimate price.

So don’t be naïve. Don’t let the anti-shoe activists fool you.  Trust your ol’ pal Ralph and put your shoes on.

With files from Robert Mackenzie

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