How not to piss people off on the TTC

By Bryan Meler

Using the TTC as a commuter is a pain in the… It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been riding North America’s finest transportation system, we still all make horrible decisions. While they might be small, they do in fact still piss other people off.

So in the spirit of going back to school and starting a schedule that might require you to spend at least 15 hours a week on the TTC, here’s some things you should avoid doing on the Rocket.

The Three-Seat Rule

If there are three consecutive open seats, pick a side and don’t clog up the middle. It means no one is going to have to unwillingly sit directly beside you. And, it at least allows you and one more person to use the open middle seat to lay your bags until someone else needs it. (This rule also applies to urinals).

The Stairs & Escalator Rule

If you’re slow on the stairs or just trying to chill on the escalator, stick to the right. The left lane is a passing lane. Honestly, if you’re going the same pace as the person on the right, it means you (rightfully) belong in the same lane as them.

Really loud music

Early-morning techno listeners, this one is especially addressed to you. Just because you can bear listening to a repetitive bass beat for an hour straight, it doesn’t mean anyone else can. So for Pete’s sake, please at least wear a toque (to cover your ears) come winter time. And in case this wasn’t obvious, please don’t hum, whistle or sing to the music you’re listening to.

Realize that doors don’t have stop signs

Don’t block entrances and exits. Yes, subway train doors make for great mirrors. Yes, you need to send that final text. Yes, you should adjust your belt after paying your fare — but just take a step to the side, take your time and enjoy Seth Rogen’s announcements while you’re at it. You’re doing everyone a favour.

Carry your bag in front of you during rush hour

If your bag resembles the fattest nugget you’ve ever seen, take it off and hold it in front of you. Grab it by its hanging loop so you won’t be rubbing against the person behind you, and to also enjoy a pretty decent arm workout.

Stay away from the blue seats

The blue seats are reserved for those who need them. So if you’re not pregnant, disabled or real old, simply back off.