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RSU releasing break-up album inspired by split from Rye

By Merida Moffat

A year after Ryerson said a premature goodbye to the Ryerson Students’ Union (RSU), the troubled group is cooking up a wild idea that will bring them some sweet, sweet revenge. 

“Goodbye Taylor Swift, you’re old news—get ready for Reputation: RSU style. We’re releasing an official breakup album inspired by Taylor Swift’s iconic revenge-wreaking era,” read an RSU press release. 

The Eyeopener was granted exclusive insider access into the development process of the untitled album. So far, we know that several songs have been planned, although no actual lyrics have been written yet. Some of the Taylor Swift inspired song titles include: “Look What You Caught Us Doing,” “Endgame (ft. TRSM Hypebeast & Engineering Mizzogynist),” “We Did Something Sketchy,” and “This is Why the RSU Can’t Have Nice Things.” 

Vice-president operations Liora Dubinsky said the RSU will employ a dark pop songwriting style with influences of hip-hop and electronic dance music. The lyrical themes will focus on revenge and heartbreak. 

She added that the RSU is “hoping to make a groundbreaking album about how we’re victims of the unjust court of public opinion.” 

Vice-president student life and events Usama Sheikh created a Pinterest board with ideas for the album aesthetic (a job that usually would’ve gone to the full-time graphic designer, had this position not been terminated). He described it as “modern day rich vibes meets femme fatale from the Golden Age of Hollywood, with a dash of 2015 Tumblr melancholy.” 

It feels a bit unproductive to blow the RSU’s budget on this

At the last Board of Directors (BoD) meeting, executives discussed a potential music video. 

“It would be so cool if we did a montage of some of our favourite Ryerson campus locations in black and white, overlaid with a clipart broken heart to show our misery,” said RSU president Ali Yousaf. 

However, other executives disagreed. Dubinsky passionately argued for an homage to Taylor Swift in “Bad Blood,” which would include members “CGI blowing up the Student Learning Centre” and Eggy holding a bazooka.

After two hours, Yousaf motioned to table the discussion until the next BoD, worried the executive would cut into its allocated four hours in camera reserved for “legal discussions” and “definitely not playing Animal Crossings until The Eye’s news editors give up.” 

Though the album cover is still in the editing stage, the popular favourite is a black and white photo of the RSU logo with the Reputation album’s signature gothic font. Other options are a retro recreation of the Rumours album cover by Fleetwood Mac or a dramatic vignetted close-up photo of the RSU executive team crying. 

[The vision is] modern day rich vibes meets femme fatale from the Golden Age of Hollywood, with a dash of 2015 Tumblr melancholy

A huge point of speculation is what the album title will be. Options include Breakup, Jan. 24, (which marks the date the RSU agreement was terminated) and Yousaf’s Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy, an ironic nod to Swift’s nemesis and Yousaf’s “musical guide.”

Second-year business student and full-time rapper Yung Dundas said he had very strong feelings about the album announcement. 

“I’m a huge Swiftie, but it feels a bit unproductive to blow the RSU’s budget on this,” he said. “And that’s coming from someone who paid several thousands of dollars for a turntable that Skrillex once vomited on.” 

The word is still out on how the RSU is going to pay for the album production, though some experts speculate that the funds could magically materialize, similar to the $350,000 in unallocated funds that suddenly appeared on the agenda of the Nov. 25 BoD. The real question is: will you stream it or skip it?

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