By Parker Theis
Whether you’ve waited all summer for school to start again or you’re already daydreaming about the end of spring, we all cope with the return to school differently. Start this school year off on the right track by taking this quiz and discovering which unhealthy back-to-school habit you are!
Disclaimer: This quiz will not tell you how to break your unhealthy habits. Acceptance is the first step to changing your patterns, gain insight into your coping mechanisms and delve into the recesses of your student subconscious below.
It’s the last week of summer. How are you preparing to go back to school?
A) I am frantically emailing my academic advisor to try and get into a class last minute.
B) I am buying all new school clothes. New year, new me!
C) Wait, school starts next week?
D) I am mentally or physically still on vacation and will probably miss the first day.
What kind of fit are you wearing on the very first day?
A) Something comfortable and casual, like a simple bodysuit or fancy joggers.
B) I am bringing it! I’m sporting a brand new outfit and shoes for me to look and feel my best.
C) Whatever I have that’s clean.
D) It’s still 30 degrees outside, I’m wearing a bathing suit under my clothes.
Your professor has asked you if you’ve read the syllabus before coming to class. Have you?
A) I glanced at it on the commute to campus.
B) Nooooo… but I made a playlist romanticizing the course title!
C) No, are we being quizzed on it?
D) I switched tabs to skim it 0.2 seconds after they asked.
Which room do you spend most of your time in at home?
A) In the kitchen, it’s the easiest room to multitask in.
B) The bathroom, I’ve finished several movies on the toilet.
C) My bedroom, how else would I get seven hours of sleep?
D) In front of the TV, have you watched the latest season of Too Hot to Handle?
What’s your go-to campus meal?
A) An energy drink, maybe a Nature Valley granola bar.
B) Anything at Oakham Cafe so I can people watch while eating.
C) I’d rather eat at home so no one can ask for just ‘’one’’ fry.
D) A campus Chipotle bowl, a large Coke and chips with queso on the side.
You’ve been let out from your three-hour lecture because your professor had a dentist appointment. She says that you should stay in class and work on your upcoming project. What are you doing now?
A) I’ll probably start planning out what I want to do so I can have the weekend free.
B) I’m chatting with my friends and figuring out what our weekend plans are.
C) I took a mental health day so I’m not even on campus.
D) I left IMMEDIATELY, why bother sticking around?
Which color folder do you associate with math?
A) Green
B) Red
C) Blue
D) Yellow
How do you respond when someone in class asks you if they can borrow your notes?
A) Here! No problem, sorry about my handwriting!
B) OMG OF COURSE! Don’t you love the elegance of my multicoloured iPad notes?
C) You don’t have them either?
D) Sorry, I’m pretty sure I only have the ones from the first week, back when I still cared.
Here are your results!
If you chose mostly A’s, you are: Surviving off of caffeine and nicotine.
After spending the summer raiding your parents’ fridge, it’s time to go back to paying for your own meals at school. Whether or not you sleep at night is no longer a concern because you get your assignments done best under the influence of stimulants. You’re definitely a part of three or more coffee shop rewards programs and can be found slurping down a cold brew at 8 a.m. Your stomach probably hurts right now, but I know you’re being really brave about it. Put down the Elf Bar and try to eat some protein, or maybe a piece of fruit.
If you chose mostly B’s, you are: Using school as socialization.
Since school is back in session, all of your commuter friends are downtown again and you couldn’t be happier. As a natural social butterfly, each class is an opportunity for new friends! Nothing brings you more satisfaction than doing the most, whether it’s wearing an eye-catching outfit to your biology lab or bedazzling your pencil case. You might not be getting that degree on time, but you are definitely the belle of the lecture hall. Who cares if you hold a forum on the latest episode of Drag Race in history class rather than discuss the Cold War? And yes, I did notice you got a new haircut and I do think you look awesome.
If you chose mostly C’s, you are: Sleeping through your alarm.
No amount of tuition payments is worth dragging yourself out of bed at 7 a.m. for—and we salute you. Adjusting your sleep schedule from summer to fall is difficult enough while staying at home and now you have to go all the way to school too? No one can judge you for wearing sweats every day or showing up an hour late because you still made it to a class and that’s better than some. I’m sure you’re already mentally drafting those end-of-semester emails to ask for extra credit. Invest in a rooster or a better mattress.
If you chose mostly D’s, you are: Out of class, out of mind.
If class lets out early, you are already out the door before the next person has their laptop shut. If the minimum word count is 600, you will not exceed 601 because “bare minimum” is your middle name. Just because you’re back in school doesn’t mean you can’t have time for yourself and you make the most of it. You’d be the type of person to skip a lecture for a spin class at the Recreation Athletic Centre because you are already paying for both. I’d encourage you to respond to the group chat for that group project, even if it’s the weekend.
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