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(JERRY ZHANG & BRITHI SEHRA/THE EYEOPENER)
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Giving, giving, gone: TMU students are preparing to serve fits during reading week

By Mariyah Salhia

Disclaimer: All sources and quotes in this story are completely fictional

As Toronto Metropolitan University (TMU) students head into fall reading week, some students are worried about having to carry the weight of being the best-dressed at Thanksgiving dinner this year. 

Tina Slaymore, a third-year graphic communications management student, told The Eyeopener that she’s been working until the early hours of the morning to make sure her looks for class are always giving, despite falling behind in most of her courses.

“It’s really difficult having to slay this hard every day,” she said. “But I know how much my classmates rely on these outfits to be fed for the day, so I think it’s a worthwhile cause.” 

For Slaymore, there’s always a lot on the line when it comes to her outfits for class due to her need to devour every outfit she wears. However, after being self-appointed as the family’s ‘best dressed future MILF,’ she’s worried about having to provide even more slay at her family’s upcoming Thanksgiving dinner. 

“Honestly, I’ve been giving so much, I feel like it’s all been gave,” said Slaymore. 

TMU performance dance student Jamie Servington said they’ve had enough when it comes to trying to keep up with school and eating up looks. 

“When you’re constantly working to make sure there are no crumbs left on the proverbial plate, it’s difficult to keep up with what’s going on in your social circle.”

“It’s really difficult having to slay this hard every day”

Servington told The Eye that while having time off of school might be relaxing for some, they’ll be working all throughout the reading week break to make sure that every single look is catalogued until December. 

“Some people think it’s a lot of work, but I know that making sure there’s looks for the rest of the semester will be a public service for everyone who gets to see me.” 

Christopher Unt, a professor of “Eating Up the Girlies 101” at the University of Gag, says that students who’ve been serving looks all semester might be facing higher levels of burnout than those who don’t care about their fits.

“But when you’re always serving, what’s left when the dish is empty?”

“For students who give, there is no option but to give,” he said. “But when you’re always serving, what’s left when the dish is empty?”

Slaymore says although she’s feeling the pressure to make sure her Thanksgiving look is doing what the girls need it to do, she says what’s most important is making sure her looks feed the family more than the turkey dinner does. 

“Especially my dad’s side of the family,” she added. “Lord knows they need it.”

Now, Servington says they’ll be working around the clock to make sure there is lots for their judgemental aunts to talk about, other than their unsolicited opinions about marriage equality. 

“It’s true, I don’t like turkey,” they said before cartwheeling away. “But I will be eating this Thanksgiving.” 

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