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(JERRY ZHANG/THE EYEOPENER)
All Fun & Satire

How long does it actually take to walk to TRSM?

By Shaye-Love Salcedo

As a Toronto Metropolitan University (TMU) student, I’ve heard tales of the treacherous treks between campus buildings. For example, students are constantly whining about having to make the walk from the Ted Rogers School of Management (TRSM) to the Student Learning Centre.

But was this rumour of unbearably long walks between campus buildings a fact or mere fiction? I could easily find out while going to my 11 a.m. class!

With nothing but my watch and a burning curiosity, I decided to uncover the truth behind the distances between buildings.

I got off at Dundas Station after around nine delays, getting jump-scared by a group of teenagers and stepping on something sticky. I choked as I stepped onto the platform, immediately noticing a foul smell. I didn’t want to stick around to find out what it was.

The time was already 10:40 a.m. I knew it might take me a while to get to TRSM, so I thought I might as well listen to “Bad Blood (Taylor’s Version)” on repeat to pass the time. There’s no better main character anthem to listen to while pushing through a Toronto crowd.

Before I knew it, I’d already exited through The Tenor and onto the bustling streets of Yonge-Dundas Square where street performers and bright billboards filled the area with Torontonians bringing it to life. And a ton of pigeons. 

After shuffling through the crosswalk and saying “Sorry” at least four times, I started walking down Dundas Street West towards my destination. But as I arrived at the glorious TRSM building entrance, I glanced at my watch: 10:45 a.m. Was it possible that it only took me five minutes to get here? I took off my headphones, seeing that the second replay of “Bad Blood (Taylor’s Version)” had only reached the bridge. 

Hmm, I wondered. What else are people lying about?

After my class finished, I decided I wanted to test some of these notorious TMU theories a little bit more—dramatic exaggerations about how far campus buildings are from one another were seriously getting out of hand. Maybe I could walk from here to the Recreation and Athletic Centre to get better at carrying the weight of my mortality, or to Balzac’s to spend half of my student net worth on an oat milk latte.

Pshh. I knew it was time to confirm that everyone was overreacting once and for all by heading over to the George Vari Engineering and Computing Centre (ENG) building, the farthest campus spot from TRSM that I could think of. I’ve heard it takes “a million years” to get there from anywhere on campus, but how bad could it be? 

I headed up Victoria Street towards the campus store, glancing at that one guy who always opens the Tim Horton’s door for everyone. Let’s be honest, he’s the true hero this city needs.

It wasn’t long before the sun reflected from the ENG building windows into my eyes, and I knew I couldn’t be far. In mere moments, I was standing at the front door, watching the engineering students drag their feet into a classroom.

So, were the distances between campus buildings at TMU truly as unrealistic as they say? For me, the answer was a hell no.

The tales of having to walk marathon distances to get to classes were nothing more than comedic exaggerations and a punchline in the grand cosmic joke that is the student experience. I can rest easy now, knowing I can sleep in and still get to class on time.

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