Vending Vengeance
A vending machine near the Jorgenson Hall mini-theatre was beat up by two thugs last Friday at 7:15 p.m. After depositing his loot into the machine’s slot, a man obsessed with getting his Mars bar a day, at work, rest and play began shaking the machine. After the candy bar wouldn’t come out, he enlisted the aid of a like-minded friend and the assault continued.
The machine struck back when it bravely shattered its glass, cutting one attacker on the hand. After security arrived to break up the scuffle, the attacker refused to let the machine have the last laugh. He nobly declined medical attention for his machine-inflicted wound.
Spark-tacular
A faulty member reported light fixtures shooting sparks in the Photo Arts basement last Sunday night. The 11 p.m. incident prompted security to call the fire department to battle the raging, inferno-like sparks.
Moaning mystery
Last Wednesday, a Rye security guard alerted police when she heard screams coming from a parked van on Church and Gerrard St. The 12 a.m. incident was shrouded in mystery as police couldn’t figure out whether they were good van screams or bad van screams. Before the answer could be had, the van took off.
Phone Groan
Giddy physical planning operators shut down air conditioners on campus in a routine systems check and knocked out telephone access for 12 hours in the process. Apparently Ryerson’s super-sensitive phone system freaks out if it gets too hot…kind of like grandparents. Ryerson was cut off from all civilization from 10 a.m. to 11 p.m. Pitman Hall, Rogers Communication Centre and areas of Jorgenson Hall were affected.
Leave a Reply