Have you seen this unabomber?
He’s just an ordinary guy…but he bombs things. A lot.
After 15 envelope bombings in the U.S., the CIA thinks the Unabomber (short for university bomber) is heading north to Canada. Bag O’ Crime obtained an exclusive internet printout from the CIA’s computer, warning Canadian universities about the bomber.
The notice includes various sites the bomber has hit as well as the victims killed by his explosions. The CIA says the bombings started in 1978 in Illinois, and have followed a pattern across the States. The most recent bombing was on Dec. 10, 1994.
The bomber always strikes by mail and besides universities, he’s hit computer and airline execs.
Ryerson security are keeping a close watch on upcoming CIA notices about the bomber.
Liar Fire
There was a rash of funny false fires around campus this week, and, as usual, Bag O’ Crime was there…first.
Rye Security reported an Oakham House false fire on Tuesday, March 7. Dripping water set off the alarm. Pitman Hall also joined the fun when apparently, insane-like heat from a rez room caused another alarm. The Human Torch was warned and promised security not to “flame on” anymore while in his room.
Meaty, not bleedy
A chunk of meat was thrown out of a Pitman Hall Window last Sunday, landing on the surprised pavement below. Security was called by shocked on-lookers and a quick taste test confirmed that the raw meat was a steak, not a body part. Lorena Bobbitt couldn’t be reached for comment.
Lamp Cramp
On Sunday evening, Ryerson Security received a complaint about a suspect who tipped a light post in the Ryerson quad. The wacky individual was swinging on the post, trying to impress the squirrels when the light post toppled over.
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