By Pete Nowak
OK, so love sucks. But there is something that sucks even more: springtime. Why? Because it increases the degree to which love sucks.
Spring, and its bastard offspring summer, is the single guy’s worst nightmare. A guy can be sickeningly secure in his bachelorhood, but come springtime, he is sorely tested.
Now is the time when the things we spent all fall and winter securing ourselves against once again surface to drive our hormones into a berserk frenzy. Shorts and T-shirts begin to appear with alarming frequency and men are assaulted by the ensuing waves of flesh. Our already limited attention spans shrink even more as our eyes reap their hormone-driven harvest.
Sound sick? Well, women shouldn’t fool themselves. They should be aware of exactly who the single guys are, because if it’s springtime, they have probably been examined by those same guys. For the most part, this is simply a form of harmless voyeurism. Of course, the men who can’t control their drool should be dealt with harshly.
So why does this suck? Well, only the strongest of men are able to resist. Only men who are adamant in their hatred of love are able to mentally dress those scantily-clad women. The weaker ones succumb to temptation and go on a “girlfriend hunt.” It is however, the duty of the strong ones to aid the weaker ones. Entertaining such thoughts about women is dangerous to the single guy and he must steel himself against them. Remember the consequences of weakness: “Yes dear, whatever you say dear, how may I serve you dear?”
So ogle if you want, but don’t go any further; it’s not worth it.
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