Re: Check your penis at the door (Choke on This by Ed Keenan), March 15
Disclaimer: The following letter expresses my opinion only, as I don not presume to speak for the women who use the Ryerson Women’s Centre
I’m curious as to why, if “women only” posters offended you, you didn’t speak to us directly. It seems to me that you received your news second-hand. You chose not to talk to us, and to write about only part of the story. That’s not good journalism, Ed, plain and simple.
I’m also unclear as to why you feel that the Centre excludes men. Men often use the Centre–they borrow books and videos and drop by to ask for some help regarding the women in their life. We do not have a “no men” policy. Men are welcome to use the Centre and its resources. We just don’t encourage them to hang out. Those that do sit around usually get up and leave when a woman enters. That’s their choice, we certainly do not ask them to leave.
You state: “Imagine how I felt outside your office on Monday night as I read your posters telling me I was not welcome”—(which ones!)—”and you peeked through the blinds at me and closed the door—informing me by your actions as surely as if you’d spoken ‘Fuck off, man.'” This is quite the stretch of the facts.
Every Monday night we have our collective meetings. We saw you outside that night and we did ask you if you needed help. You replied with, “just reading the literature.” We also asked if we could be of service. Explain to me, please, how you could interpret our inquiry as being a blatantly rude dismissal. Again, I ask you, where does it say that you are not welcome? We always close the door for our meetings because a) they take place at night and b) there’s a lot of noise in the hall. But we do not completely close the blinds, so we can see if there’s anyone outside in need of anything. If you really want to see what we discuss in our collective, come by the Centre and ask to see our minutes binder. Anyone can do so.
You also ask, “Are you afraid the presence of a few men at your meetings might intimidate some of the fragile little feminine pearls that attend?” I can’t speak for all the collective members, but I can say this: Yes, there are some women who are uncomfortable using the Centre when there are men around. They do not need to justify the fact or explain why, but if you really think about it, you might understand. Your sarcasm, which is another form of anger, may also have something to do with it. You see, if women did enjoy equality and respect, there’d be no need for a feminist movement, or a Women’s Centre. It’s that simple.
The poster advertising the International Women’s Day Dance at the Y was not a Rye event, therefore we’re not responsible for the fact that it was women only. The “Consensual Sex vs. Sexual Violence” seminar was indeed a women only event. Well, perhaps if you’d asked us, we’d tell you. For one thing, the speaker, Mary Dante, wanted it that way. Her reason? Talking about these sexual practices in a group is one thing, but talking about them in a mixed group is another. Would you want to talk about sex in a room full of strangers, some of the opposite sex? Likely, you, like most people, wouldn’t feel comfortable. You’d probably feel less comfortable knowing that the entire seminar was being videotaped for a documentary, which it was.
You say that you’ve been an avid supporter of women’s rights and issues, and that’s great. I’m not disputing your support. But I do take issue with your decision to rage against some of the things we’ve done, without bothering to get the whole picture. Speaking as one of the “insensitive chromosomal fascists” (Hey! That’s a great name for a band!), I find that approach both spineless and irresponsible. I also find your choice of words hateful and threatening. So you’re asking us why we have some “women only” events? Perhaps you should take a long hard look at your modes of expression, choice of words and lack of investigation into the other side of the story before launching into a fit of anger—it just might be that they have something to do with it.
M. H. Scott
Programs Coordinator
Ryerson Women’s Centre
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