By The Eyeopener staff

Fallout from last week’s Dryersonian parody issue continues to disrupt Eyeopener production as the office fills with stunned-yet-stylish Ryersonian spawn.

“I thought our office had been moved,” said Craig Sebastardiano, obviously dazed in his matching two-piece tie and fedora. “This isn’t The Ryersonian? Hey, do I get credit for this?”

Eyeopener staff were cramped and cranky, their sculpted-in-the-winds-of-mousse hair and I-have-the-time-and-motivation-to-iron shirts rumpled and wrinkled from the surging mob of eager young journalists.

“I think I’m going to go ballistic—FUCK OFF! No, you CANNOT use me as a reference!” said Tom Gobbledygook, news editor, waving his long hair in the industrial light, only accentuate his top-of-the-hamper ensemble.

Resplendent in a well-brushed cardigan and neatly pressed jeans, WarsawPact Hairdressieri was just as confused as the Eye staff. “I was cognizant of nothing but a superior example of our weekly missive,” he said.

Ryerson President Terry Grief, cutting a fine figure in his smart-cut tweed blazer and Bureaucratic couture tie, could not be reached for comment.