Students wait to use the phone. Photo: Jackie Burns

You cheap bastards

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By Owen Ferguson and Allison Heather

Calling all quarterless bastards, time for some of you to dial a life.

For a quarter you can use a school payphone.

But some chatterboxes were still lining up five cheapsters deep as one Eyeopener reporter rambled away on RyeSAC’s free phone in the basement of Jorgenson Hall earlier this week.

They waited for more than 10 minutes.

“How long has this guy been on for?” asked John Chang, a business student.

The question is, why the hell didn’t they do upstairs and use the payphones if their calls were worth waiting for 10 minutes?

“I couldn’t be bothered to go all the way upstairs,” said a lazy fashion student who wished to remain anonymous. “I mean, the escalators don’t even work!”

The phone barely works either — the voice on the other end sounds like it’s coming from China.”

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