Toronto Metropolitan University's Independent Student Newspaper Since 1967

All Fun & Satire

Ask the lesbian (Nov. 7)

Dear readers,

Thanks for the turn out at my big lesbian blow out. It’s because of crazy strangers like you that I’m able to publish an outlet for my bitter sarcasm and dramatic experiences. You made my birthday a very memorable one and for that I am forever your humble lesbian servant.

Cheers,

Lesbian

Dear person,

Ask the woman, ask the person, ask the student, ask the visionary, ask the idiot, ask the childish one, ask the wise woman, ask me, ask a friend, ask someone you don’t know, ask someone who gives a shit, you could have called your column any of these things but you chose to call it ‘Ask the Lesbian’ — a blatant exploitation of your sexuality to attract more readers to your column. How can you then, without so much as a whiff or irony, complain in the same column about straight people introducing you as a lesbian at parties or trying to match-make you with other lesbians or generally not being able to see past your sexual preference when you are defining yourself by your sexuality alone in this column? Smell the coffee darling.

Another person.

Dear person,

Ask if I care.

Love,

Lesbian.

P.S. Ask yourself this: Would you have stopped, read and took time to respond to my column if it had been called ‘Ask the Person’?

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