Bag-o-crime

In Fun & SatireLeave a Comment

Reading Time: < 1 minute

And now… a radio play you can do with your friends!

Narrator: It’s November 19th, and a girl is using a knife, to cut. Let’s listen in!

Girl: <singing> Loo-dee-doo, using a knife to cut small pieces of Styrofoam to make a class project. Ryerson is like public school, but more expensive! <stops singing> Hey, that crazy three-legged squirrel is running around outside — <raising voice> OH SWEET JEBUS ON A BIKE! I’VE CUT MY FUCKING FINGER WITH THIS KNIFE I’VE BEEN USING TO CUT THINGS! SOMEONE GODDAMN HELO ME! I’M LOSING A LOT OF BLOOD AND I MIGHT DIE!

A non-community member wandering around Pitman Hall: <confused, slightly drunk, to better gain perspective of the character, you may want to note he smells like pee> Hello there. What seems to be the trouble with your finger?

Girl: I’M DYING! OH WOE IS ME. PLEASE CALL MY PARENTS AND TELL THEM I LOVE THEM BECAUSE I”LL BE DEAD IN A MINUTE! <if it is possible, become more hysterical right now> DAMN THEATRE PRODUCTION ASSIGNMENT!

Non-community member: It looks like it’s just a paper cut. I’ve got a bandaid in my pocket you can use if you want.

Girl: DIE, DIE, DIE! <scene, note: girl did not die>

Leave a Comment