A good time was had by all on Friday at RyeSAC’s annual parade and picnic. Frosh weren’t allowed to bring shaving cream, but to everyone’s surprise, they brought it anyways. Yeah, yeah, it’s all innocent tradition until someone loses an eye at the hands of the Gillette corporation.

Photo: Tom Sapiano.

Engineering a drunken mess

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By Graham Kritzer

The annual RyeSAC parade and picnic wrapped up on Friday, and from all accounts it was a hot, drunken, messy success.

The parade left Ryerson around 1 p.m. and students began to tramp down Yonge Street. There were quite a few menacing stares from angry cab drivers who were forced to wait while the parade made its way past. There was also a strong contingent of slack-jawed tourists, business people and drugged-out crazies who struggles to comprehend what was unfolding before their eyes.

The parade was loud and organized; it reminded me and my buddies of our protesting days in the ‘60s — minus the water cannons, innocent civilian deaths and the fact that we weren’t born yet.

After about 20 minutes of walking in the heat, we made it to the ferry docks, and were herded onto the ship like calves being stuffed into a holding pen, waiting to be made into little veal cutlets.

We managed to make our way to the front of the ferry, not because we wanted to have first crack at chasing the geese, but because we wanted first crack at the keg my friend. The ferry docked and we ran like the wind towards the beer stand, only to be greeted with a sign that read $9.50 a beer. Actually it was $4.50 but it may as well have been $9.50 because $4.50 a beer to a student is more like $9.50.

Are you still following me?

We purchased two beers and proceeded to re-enter the rapidly expanding line. We figured it would be a great way to breat the crowd, and of course we were wrong.

After 45 minutes in 30 degree heat, I was ten pounds and two beers lighter. So desperation prevailed and we ordered in bulk — I won’t tell you how many as it may affect my journalistic reputation.

Moving on, there was a wicked set of beats dropped by the Funky Teknicianz, who provided a bright spot for all those people waiting in various lines, Then around 9 beers — I mean 4 p.m. — The Watchmen came on and performed for all the hot, sweaty, drunk, Watchmen-hungry people. They played a bunch of songs including their old song “Boneyard Tree” and their current single “Absolutely Anytime.”

They were amazing, as always, and provided a great ending to a pretty hot, but damn good picnic.

But wait!

What would a parade and picnic be without a mass gathering of the self-proclaimed animals of Ryerson University?

The engineers.

The sings clearly said “Absolutely no shaving cream,” but the engineers didn’t listen. Shaving cream facials and rampant panstsings (Eds: Pansting: n. the forcible removal of one male’s pants and undergarments by another, usually inebriated, male) abounded, and a good, half-naked time was had by all, despite the presence of silly string and the shaving cream.

Or did their presence make it better?

Hmmmm.

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