You go up to the beach floor

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Why does it smell like sweat all over?

The sixth floor overwhelms you as you step off the elevator. In the back corner, an entire game of tackle football is happening, students are watching Netflix with no headphones on and somebody is doing a photoshoot by the window. You look for the gentle giant that is Lachemi, becoming increasingly distraught as you realize you’ve chosen the wrong floor.

You yawn—this mission is exhausting. That’s when you spot it: a vacant body chair. For the first time in history, there isn’t a threesome in sight on one of them! You tell yourself, “I’ll just close my eyes for a minute.” Before you know it, you awaken, startled. You look outside and it’s well into the night. You reach for your phone in your pocket but can’t find it—the phone or your pocket. Everything you own has been stolen. You lay in the chair, naked and ashamed.

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