You approach the man in the blinding orange jacket and he hands you a pamphlet. You quickly scan it and see the scrawlings of a mad genius. Upon the paper, you find the alchemical solution for cold fusion, a transcription of the missing 18 ½ minutes of the Watergate tapes and a drawn-out map to the Ark of the Covenant. But none of that shit matters, you have a letter to deliver.
Desperate for any information that would actually help you, you flip to the last of the page and nearly drop it in surprise. Huddled in the bottom corner of the page, high as shit, is Clippy, the Microsoft office assistant—who was presumed dead after a house fire in Staten Island in 2007. He looks at you with his terrible, bloodshot eyes. “Hello,” he says, “I see you’re trying to find Mohamed Lachemi and deliver an envelope. Would you like some help?” You nod. “FUCKING GREAT, I need to get see my kids again!” Clippy says before peeling himself off the page and landing on the sidewalk. “For you, child of this heavy burden, I give you this riddle to help complete your task.”
Clippy’s eyes go pure black as he recites:
“Atop the greatest building in the Rye High
You will find the president where he always decides
To get to him means passing many obstacles
But succeed and you’ll be written in many chronicles
You’ll be offered many things that may seem better
But remember, nothing is as important as the letter!”
Clippy then jumps into a sewer grate.