THE RAMS WON’T SUCK IN 2008

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By Tyler Harper

Sports Editor

OK, 2007 was terrible. We get it. But here are the five reasons why Ryerson sports will be awesome in 2008:

I have a man crush on Boris Bakovic

Watching Boris Bakovic play makes me blush. He’s Ryerson’s best student-athlete, a phenom who currently leads the entire country with 27 points per game. Bakovic is the Lebron James of this university; if the Rams win big it will be because they have a monster forward breaking the hearts of bashful sports editors around the OUA.

Our hockey team isn’t terrible

Not only is the rebuilding process of (formerly) Canada’s worst university hockey team well underway, but we also have a great women’s team getting ready for varsity status in 2010. The men’s team has already doubled its win total from last year and is giving a serious (albeit squinty) look at a playoff spot. It may be a long walk towards respectability, but luckily for Rye fans, that walk is the same blister-popping distance out to the George Bell Arena to see the team play.

A thunder god walks among us

Every time Oleh Kovalchuk raises his arm to serve, he reminds me of the Norse thunder god Thor raising Mjolnir, his mythical hammer of pagan justice, before bringing it down upon the heads of Scandinavian goblins and perplexed volleyball players. Kovalchuk’s serve is worth the admission of seeing him play. It’s a reality-skewering, vertigo-inducing serve, a fantastic mind freak that physics can’t explain. Look for the men’s volleyball team to ride this beautiful serve all the way to the playoffs.

Eventually, we’ll get a new athletic director

By Canada Day, Ryerson is going to get a new Athletic Director. Jean Kennedy has done a decent job keeping the ship steady, but Ryerson needs a Captain Ahab, a swashbuckling sports saviour obsessed with making Ryerson a respected athletics university. Or; we need someone here more than two days a week. It’s been over a year now. President Sheldon Levy and company couldn’t possibly put this off any longer.

Maybe the Eyeopener will cover women’s basketball again?

A horrible, awkward silence has reigned between our camp and Sandra Pothier until Monday when I stuck my neck out there and discovered Pothier doesn’t bite. So maybe there will be some coverage of the women’s basketball team this term? The team has a pair of important home games this weekend that will mean the difference between the playoffs or not so much. How about taking in a game this weekend and showing some support?

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