By Jessica Lewis
The notorious g-spot has inspired many Cosmo articles and late-night “how to satisfy your woman” showcase specials. As it turns out, guys don’t have to be left out of the so-called “earth-shattering” orgasms. The male g-spot is actually the p-spot — ‘p’ for prostate. That’s right. It’s up the butt.
The p-spot is located roughly around the same area as the female g-spot. But the most common way to find the spot on your male partner (or yourself) is to enter through the rectum.
“Basically it’s the prostate, and if you’re gay or straight, if you hit that, you’re good,” says Jesse Trautmann, a RyePride Coordinator and a third-year journalism student. “You’ll have that pleasurable experience. I’ve hit it before.”
Gill Lamon, worker-owner of the Queen Street sex shop Come As You Are, knows how to hit it.
“If you can imagine a man on his back, just insert fingers or a toy basically an inch or sometimes a little more depending on the man’s anatomy, and then it’s just in and up. It’s right there,” she says.
Lamon recommends going north almost immediately once entering.
Dan Savage, who writes the syndicated Savage Love column, goes into a little more detail. “Face your male partner. Stick your index finger — generously lubed — in his butt. All the way in,” writes Savage in an e-mail. “Then slowly make a ‘come here’ motion with the index finger you’ve buried in his ass. You should feel a small walnut-shaped gland. Repeat as necessary.”
Trautmann disagrees and prefers to leave the finger out of it.
“I find that kind of gross. I don’t want to stick my finger up my boyfriend’s ass and start rubbing my fingers in his inner balls. If he asked me to, I probably would, but if that’s the case, we wouldn’t need our dicks.”
Justin Madonia, a second-year business management student, has heard of the male spot before but believed it to be a myth.
“This is kind of an assumption,” he says. “But I would think that this would be more brought up in a homosexual conversation.”
While the assumption that up the ass is gay territory seems to be popular among straight men, Trautmann points out that many of these straight men don’t think it’s gay when they ask their girlfriends to try anal stimulation.
“For a girl to take it up the ass and a guy to not even get a dildo or strap-on — just with fingers — think that’s gay? It’s just a sexual thing,” he says. “It’s seen as anything up the ass for a guy is gay. That’s how it’s going to be viewed . . . I guarantee you there are tons of guys that want to experiment up the ass with girls, or finger, themselves but never tell a soul.”
Changing the name from p-spot to g-spot might help men feel more comfortable with experimenting.
“If there’s one more thing that’s going to make straight men feel gay about liking their asses is if you give them a women’s body part,” says Lamon.
In the end though, it’s all about learning new things and becoming comfortable with yourself.
“I think most straight men really worry about how they will be perceived if they are found to enjoy anal stimulation,” says Lamon.
“I think once men realize that sexual pleasure isn’t inherently about orientation. That is, some things you do to your body doesn’t actually say anything about who you’re attracted to. I think once men get over that, they tend to enjoy anal sex a lot.”
But massaging the prostate doesn’t only mean heightened sexual pleasure, it also means a lower risk of prostate cancer.
Doctors recommend stimulating the p-spot to stay healthy.
“A lot of guys get turned on to it from when they go to their doctors,” says Lamon. “I think once men see that this is a health issue and start doing it as well as having great orgasms, then they will see it is great for sex.”
Lamon recommends the Aneros Prostate Massager for finding the spot and stimulating it. The Aneros claims that it can reduce levels of prostate cancer by increasing fluid flow.
But be careful with toys, and make sure to use a condom or boil the toys between uses.
“Lots of people have eyes much bigger than their assholes and they think they can fit much more in there than they can,” says Lamon.
Come As You Are offers numerous educational workshops, including a series on anal play and prostate massage.