A HIPSTER HOLIDAY SPECIAL

In Arts & Life /

By Jessica Lewis and Alex Hamlyn

Arts & Life Editors

As our gift to you for the holidays, we’ve compiled a list of hipster tips for the winter break with everything you need to stay superior to your friends.

Come to think of it, why not just cut out this page and fit it in with all of the presents you’re giving out this year? This is the gift of spreading the wealth.

Spin the drunk-del

In Judaism, there is an ancient Hannukkah pastime named Dreidel. In reality, it’s purely gambling on just four letters of the Hebrew language. Now, any hipster can take a chance on anything, let it be chocolate, pennies or latkes. But we say, in order to make this game more hipster-esque, just add a bit of alcohol. Spinning the dreidel, dreidel, dreidel may begin to make you feel like clay, but it’s all in the fun.

Have yourself a lonely Christmas

A big part of the holidays for most university students is the chance to go home and see their parents. This is very touching and nice. However, it is not cool.

Great artists, musicians, filmmakers and actors aren’t known for family times around the fireplace with the family. They didn’t drink eggnog with relatives and warmly remember how wonderful past holidays were. To be a true hipster you need to tap into your lonely, disillusioned core. Get “cynic” tattooed on your neck, complain about the weather and refuse to spend time with people. It may seem annoying but it will seriously up your cucumber factor. As in, “cool as a.”

Worth every penny

Though he may be far from a hipster, it’s time for you to take a tip from Hugh Grant’s lifestyle in About a Boy. Instead of saving all the good gifts for yourself this year and grumbling over annoying Christmas jingles, pay for your closest friends to get their hair carefully disheveled at your local trendy salon.

Your friends will finally approach your hipster status as they come back with pieces of hair carefully misplaced around their foreheads, ears and towards the back. Plus they’ll proceed to gossip about how even though their hair looks good, the hairdresser was just so mainstream.

By this time, the group of you will be ready to go out on the town to the dive bar of choice. If it’s not messy, it’s not hip.

Just the hits

Greatest hits albums are the bane of a hipster’s existence. Really loving a band is about knowing the most obscure songs. You can’t be pretentious without knowing the details that don’t matter to anyone.

However, the same doesn’t apply to movies. You may think you need to watch movies dozens of times to achieve hipster-dom. But that’s not bucking the norm like a good hipster should. Skip all the big holiday films, and just watch their trailers. You can laugh along to all the jokes with your friends, and laugh to yourself about how little work it took.

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