If beer isn’t your thing there’s nothing wrong with downing a bottle of hard liquor. It’s the same experience but with a worse experience. COURTESY OF CREATIVE COMMON

B is for Booze

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Remember that movie you watched with the college students getting drunk? Yeah, I’ve seen all 700 of them too.

A scene featuring the drunken university undergrad, doing stupid stunts in a messy dorm filled with beer cans, bongs, and buffoons exploring each other’s mouths is a staple in student-targeted comedies. But it’s there for a reason.

Booze is a beautiful bastard that gives you fun times and occasionally great social experiences, but in return sometimes makes you puke on whoever stupidly stands in front of you for more than 10 seconds. It’s this spirit of ‘ah fuck it’ that revolves around alcohol that resonates so well with our superb student body, and you’ll be seeing that – or you’ll recall it after you wake up from your stupor– in the coming year.

Have you made it this far in the article? Great, lets get this shit started.

First off, I’m assuming you’re 19, kid. I won’t risk my journalistic integrity and ethical commitments by telling you to get a fake ID. I will however, put this article in my portfolio.

The heart of the anus of campus, The Ram in the Rye – or once you’re cool enough –The Ram. The campus pub, located at Church and Gould Streets, is where us cool folk usually start the day. They have cheap pitchers, highly edible and well-priced food, great service from mostly fellow students, and pool tables. Bonus feature: Ask for a Billy. Thank us later.

Feeling fancy, kid? Try out the Imperial Pub at Victoria and Dundas Streets. A bunch of Ryerson professors and staff drink here, so don’t act like you’re in first year. Or just never say ‘sick’ when you want to say something is cool. Beer is a tad bit more expensive than our campus pub, but the atmosphere at the second floor bar, The Library, is something you’re going to want come exam time. Bonus feature: Nachos are good. Yeah.

What’s that? It’s midnight and the LCBO is closed? Your night is ruined? Head down to Lou Dawgs at Gerrard and Church Streets for some cheap beer, pulled-pork poutine, and the nicest restaurant staff you’ll meet who sometimes work till 4 a.m.

Bonus feature: I just told you it’s open till 4 a.m.

We have way more to share with you, young Frosh Ryewalker. There is after all, many other bars in the city. So how about you go to theeyeopener.com for more tips on where to get kerblonked like a fourth-year champ?

Cheapest Beers

(According to the LCBO for a 473 ML can)

– Budweiser $2.20

– Coors Light: $2.20

– Lakeport: $1.85

– Molson Canadian $2.20

– Moosehead: $2.25

– Pabst Blue Ribbon: $1.95

– Rolling Rock: $2.35

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