By Mohamed Omar
Ontario’s so-called Sunshine List, which shows the names and positions of public sector employees who made $100,000 or more the previous year, came out on March 27. One thousand twenty-two Ryerson employees made the list in 2014, and we got an exclusive interview with all of them at once. We will hereby refer to all of them collectively as “Ram Cashmoney,” or RC.
Eyeopener: How does it feel to make all that money?
RC: Pleasant. Yes, quite. We also receive benefits, like healthcare, dental, life insurance and Monopoly money. Do peasant students enjoy such delicacies?
E: No. Never.
E: Did you know that all 1,022 of you combined account for almost $147 million in salaries alone?
E: Can you justify that?
RC: We work hard.
E: So do students and young graduates. But a lot of them struggle to find jobs and benefits are unheard of these days.
RC: Look, asshole, what is this interview actually about?
E: We just want to know wh—
RC run away, shouting “I’m rich, biatch!” while $100 bills gush out of their pockets.