Down With Dara: The bullshit line between “slut” and “prude”

In Communities /

By Bahoz Dara

There are moments in life that I’m completely certain regarding the attributes I acquire, and then not a microsecond later I’m drowning in a self-doubt and confusion, wondering if I have ever encountered any self-truth within my twenty years on this earth.

My personal level of “sluttyness” used to be a factor that could increase or decrease depending on the situation I was in. This highly dependent variable had driven me insane in the past; I would always question where on the scale between “prude” and “that girl” we all knew in high school spectrum was I? I could never manage to gage it consistently and it’s shifting nature always had me confused.

Different partners would give me various pieces of information on the matter that in no way correlated and agreed with each other. I could never put together a conclusion with all the evidence was vastly contradicting itself.

It was not until I was conjuring up some sort of slut shaming diversion tactic that I realized all this bullshit was subjective. I was a saint to some and a sinner to others.  There was no sense in wasting my time formulating a master plan to convey the perfect amount of scandal for entire population, because it just wouldn’t work.

With my minor recognition, came an extraordinary epiphany… why did I value the thoughts of others so greatly that I was willing to let it cause me dismay and anxiety? That was the very moment that I noticed I was the only person who could accurately distinguish what my sexuality was.

As long as I was happy with my choices to engage in these activities of consensual sexual expression then there are no fucks to be given about what my slut intensity was, and which individuals deemed it so.

I share this little B Dara tale because I want everyone reading to be made aware that your past, present, or future of consensual sex activities in no way depicts you; not one person can categorize your level of promiscuity accordingly, unless you allow them to do by adopting their designated labels.

There will always be some bored individual that will attempt to associate negativity with your name for being too slutty, while another person will ridicule you for not being slutty enough.

Do whatever it is you sexually desire, we all have needs and there are appropriate resources to achieve them. Do not allow some stigmatized value system prevent you from expressing yourself.

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