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Down with Dara: Why aren’t you masturbating right now?

By Bahoz Dara
Life is busy, friends. Being a university student with other obligations and extra circulars, it seems near impossible to have a thriving social life. To be honest with you, not only is my social life not thriving — I have to constantly check if it still has a pulse. With failed plans piling up and the ‘we should hang out sometimes slipping out of my mouth,’ it has become overwhelmingly apparent that I will not be engaging in any form of contact with another living being in the near future.
As one can imagine, my friends aren’t ecstatic about my flakey tendencies, nor are they happy I choose to nap over coffee dates.  What’s worse than having coffee alone one might ask? Well the obvious answer to that is not getting fucked, because as we know fucking needs at least one other consenting human present. Luckily, there are ways of keeping myself sane, and my sex drive content that do not require anyone else to be there.Masturbation is a beautiful thing.
I recall that in my younger years many people were shamed for masturbating, I never understood this concept. Masturbating is by far the most consensual act, and should not be shamed or undermined; it is natural to touch yourself. Masturbation relieves stress, feels amazing, and is time flexible.  Masturbation isn’t that person who claims they will come over after class, only to have them disappoint you once again.
Masturbation is the present. The reliability alone of a self-induced orgasm is a huge selling point. Contrary to popular belief, masturbation should solely be treated as an act for lonely peasants. In fact it provides various benefits that improve one’s sex life.  Initially, it provides a medium that allows one to understand their body’s dynamic; you can uncover specific acts and movements that you like or don’t like.  You must learn what you love, where and how you like to be touched in order to effectively communicate your wants and needs with a partner in the future.
Also, a vacant bedroom is a pressure free environment that permits comfortably with oneself, a level of comfort that will undoubtedly be expressed in some magnitude with a partner. Get used to being naked, get accustomed to your genitals, love yourself.
Essentially masturbation is one of the utmost natural acts a human can perform. Within tough times like these, and the high stress lifestyle we students lead, it’s practically a must. There is no shame in getting off to yourself, with yourself, by yourself.

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