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Funvertisement: Riley’s Ways

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By Riley

Hello there friends, my name is Riley. Just Riley. I only go by one name to protect my identity from government officials. They don’t want you to know all my greatest tips for how to save money and live on a tight budget!

The following is an excerpt from my new book, Riley’s Ways: How to Save Money and Live Happy, available in stores everywhere February 25.

Chapter 8: Living Cheap and Luxuriously

By this point I have told you some of my deepest, darkest and sneakiest secrets for saving money. But just because you are saving that dough, doesn’t mean that you can’t afford to go out and have fun every once and a while. 

Here are my biggest tips for living in luxury on a tight budget.

First, go out to a popular fancy restaurant in your city; one that is always packed with big shots and high rollers. Make sure that you make a reservation!

Next, look for a person who has their pockets exposed. Walk by their table and ask if they know where the bathroom is. This should be sufficient distraction for you to reach into their pocket and pull out a wallet.

Once you have the wallet, take out the credit card and drop the wallet on the floor near by – this should buy you some extra time with the plastic. Remember, the shinier the credit card, the better!

After you’ve obtained the credit card, go out and get yourself something nice! Remember, it is always better to make several medium-sized purchases than one big one, as that will set off the credit card’s security.

I would recommend buying furniture, groceries, entertainment electronics, fancy candles and other luxury items that aren’t suspicious to companies looking for obtuse spending patterns. If possible, spread these purchases out over a few days to lower suspicion even further!

If the credit card is ever rejected, this means the person you robbed has caught on. Leave where you are immediately and toss out the credit card. Make sure none of those purchases can be traced back to you, and you’re laughing! 

So there it is, living in luxury on a tight budget. Next chapter we will discuss useful disguises and how to frame people for your crimes. Remember, if you follow Riley’s Ways, you’ll be living like a king, but paying like a peasant!

With files from Robert Mackenzie.

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