Cable and Kristoff after the winner of the Cardi-Get-It-On contest was announced.

Photo: Chris Blanchette

Winner of cardigan wearing contest sparks controversy

In Fun & SatireLeave a Comment

Reading Time: 2 minutes

By Skyler Ash

The second-runner-up in a Ryerson cardigan wearing contest, Cardi-Get-It-On, is “outraged” after the winner revealed he, “wasn’t really a cardigan kind of guy.”

George Cable, who won the contest, said in a post-victory lap interview with The Eyeopener that he doesn’t really like cardigans that much. “I’m only here for the ladies,” said Cable. “You can’t buy this kind of fame; you have to earn it.” Cable reportedly went home alone that night.

Cable’s big win leaves the contest’s second-runner-up, Kris Kristoff, in a blind rage that he said he hasn’t been able to shake since the contest winner was announced on Oct. 15.

“This kind of thing really ruins it for the whole cardigan community,” said Kristoff.

Kristoff is the president of Ryerson’s cardigan lovers club, Don’t Sweat It (DSI), who label themselves as the school’s “tightest knit community.” Cable isn’t a member of this club. “Right off the bat, you know this guy’s a fraud,” said Kristoff.

Anna Zinger, a Ryerson fashion student and a judge for the contest, said that she and the other judges weren’t aware of Cable’s feelings about cardigans. “If we had known, he definitely would have been banned from participating.” All candidates are vetted through a “rigorous interview process,” but Zinger said that Cable “must have slipped through like a dropped stitch.”

Other contestants don’t feel the way that Kristoff and Zinger do. “That George guy looked damn good in that deep coral, cross stitch, knee length cardigan,” said Oliver Rafferty. “The best man won, I have no qualms about that.”

“Unfortunately, nothing can be done,” said Zinger. “We will, however, be launching a formal investigation into George, by way of private investigator.”

The investigator, who wishes to go simply by “Gum Shoe” in order to protect his identity, said that all he knows about Cable so far is that he’s an English major who drinks a lot of lattes and spends a lot of time hitting on girls in the SLC. “That guy gets a lot of rejections. Not quite sure why he keeps trying, but he does.”

Leave a Comment