Photo: Premila D'Sa

Costumes to make you look cool on Halloween

In Fun & Satire /

By Rameez Hameed

Do you still dress up for Halloween? I don’t. I stopped doing that years ago. I also gave up trick or treating for Lent. But if you still do, here are some cool costume ideas you could try on. Not the generic, boring stuff you see every year. Something different.  Something that will make you stand above the crowds on campus (and everywhere else), courtesy of me.

Egerton Ryerson
This one’s easy! Just dress up as an 18th century county male. Nice clothes, perhaps a suit coat with dress pants and a white dress shirt. If you feel like making it fancier, throw on a bowler hat. And a cane. Oh, and don’t forget to bring your shame from beyond the grave! Hundreds and hundreds of years of it. Extra points if you can manage to ride into the party having found a literal a religious high horse.

Frying Pan
A practical tool used in the kitchen, a fearsome weapon held by the cooks and the warriors. Your partner? Perhaps a friend, or a roommate. The most devilish egg flipper, flappy pancake maker, bread browner, fish fryer… yeah, food is pretty fucking wondrous. Turn your body into a circular pan, made of aluminum or cardboard or whatever floats your boat. Finish it off by putting a handle on your head and boom! A perfect costume.

The Marlboro Man
This Halloween, treat yourself. Be someone on campus nobody would even recognize. Be a Western, badass, tobacco advertising cowboy. Be the Marlboro Man! The awesomeness is making me shiver. Always keep a cigar in your mouth. But don’t smoke it. Actually, use a fake one.  

Toucan Sam
Do people still eat Froot Loops? I’ve always found that the colour to “fruit” ratio was a little off, but I digress! Nevermind that. Dress up as a toucan. Feathers. A rainbow beak. A makeshift nose that could give Phineas and Ferb a run for their booger infested money. Sounds pretty complicated, which it probably is. I won’t give any how-to instructions because you deserve to be challenged.

Darth Maul
Remember the bad guy with horns on his head, red and black face paint and a dual lightsaber? Yeah, that guy. The ultimate dark-side aggressor. Now you might be thinking that you’ll see lots of Darth Vader or Luke Skywalker costumes wandering around. Fair enough. They’re the popular characters of the franchise. So why not stand out and dress as our friendly neighbourhood thorny-headed friend? Don’t forget the black robe, custom made for Siths.

The Classic (but beloved) Beer Bottle
For all the boozed and broke Ryerson dwellers, this is for you. Basically a cylinder, with a narrow top. Smack that Molson Canadian label right in the middle because now you’re a true Canadian.

Well, there you have it. Six weird (but grand) costumes to wow your fellow Gould Street ghouls and gals.

**Warning: This may increase your coolness factor by like, a lot. But if it doesn’t, I’m not responsible.

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