Photo: Alanna Rizza

Local interns still don’t know how to make coffee, fear being asked

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By Gabrielle Angeli Estranero Olano

How hard is it to make a simple cup of coffee? Well, it isn’t. According to 99.9 per cent of office workers, making coffee is like a second motion, a natural skill honed from never quite having enough energy. Yet for some reason, the idea of being asked to make a cup of coffee is terrifying to interns, and employers are demanding to know why.

Coffee seems to be the essential accompaniment for a productive workday. It keeps one wide awake and focused on their work, and just a little crazy. It’s not uncommon to be asked by another co-worker to make coffee. However, when Alex Moore was asked to make a cup of joe for his coworkers on his second week of internship at The Eyeopener, he replied with, “I’m not sure if I can give you what you’re asking for.” He was reportedly “shook” when given the task.

In response to the shocking news of an intern not knowing how to make coffee, many were quick to ponder and question, offering him a quick tutorial of the basics of barista duties. Some responded differently, questioning Moore and demanding, “How the hell do you not know when this is your second week here?”

“Based on statistics, coffee-making is a mandatory skill. Without it, don’t expect to survive because we will kill you, you useless piece of shit,” says intern spokesperson and general lover of coffee, Liane McLarty.

Why do interns fear this simple task anyway? As expressed by Moore, it isn’t the grounds or the process that causes one to shake, it’s the feeling of failing to do something so easy that they do not want to experience, which is something everyone can relate to in so many different levels as we are only human after all.

Fortunately, interns are told not to worry, as they’ll get it eventually. Regardless of their inability to put together a consumable product for our caffeine-lovers, interns will still have other things to be of use for.

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