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Ryerson gym expects to see record high attendance first few weeks back, followed by record low


This week the Mattamy Athletic Centre (MAC) is expecting to see record high attendance, followed by possibly the lowest attendance of the year next week.  

Reports coming from all over campus hint at an influx of new gym attendees in the New Year.  The increase can be attributed to feelings of regret, shame, and social pressure, levels of which have spiked suddenly over the past few weeks.

This abrupt increase is not uncommon, in fact the exact same phenomena happened last year and has been since mortals came around to make the bullshit that is “New Year’s resolutions.” 

While Ryerson’s gym saw much higher gym attendance the first few week of classes in January, the Ram in the Rye saw one of its worst weeks ever, with the number of customers dropping to less than half their weekly average.  The following week, however, the numbers went back to normal for both facilities.

These events have always been shrugged off as a result of the season, but the estimated numbers for the gym this week may prompt further investigation.  An increase was expected, but not one of this magnitude. The gym is expected to see no less than a 150 per cent increase in the next two weeks, followed by an almost equal drop.  

These numbers are much higher than any New Year’s increase that’s been seen before.  Gym staff are worried they won’t have the equipment or space to handle it.  They’re also worried they won’t have the emotional energy to support the hundreds of insecure students who will be looking for support on their seven-day cataclysm of a personal fitness journey.

“Last year we had about 45 students yell at us, two students cry in the middle of their workout, and one student try, and fail, to throw a set of weights,” said Kim Smith, a personal trainer who works at the gym.

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