The rise and fall of “Peepeepoopoo Man”

In Fun & Satire2 Comments

Reading Time: 2 minutes

By Larry Heng

On Tuesday evening, Toronto police arrested and charged a man after recent attacks using buckets of feces, putting an end to a very specific string of crimes.

Samuel Opoku, 23, dubbed the “Peepeepoopoo Man” by exhausted students with no brain capacity left to think of anything better, was charged with five counts of assault with a weapon and five counts of mischief interfere with property.

The man made his rounds at York University and the University of Toronto (U of T) over this past weekend.

Prior to his arrest, his most recent attack was late Monday night near College Street and University Avenue. His expected arrival at Ryerson would have completed the unsettling trifecta of targeting university campuses in Toronto.

With a blue hoodie, a highlighter yellow construction hat and a beaming smile, the attacks seemed too humorously dark to be real.

His journey will live as one of the strangest ‘what if’ stories in Ryerson history. Until his arrest, students waited anxiously for a potential attack on our campus. While his reign was short, it was terrifyingly effective, and something that students will likely never forget.

Here’s a timeline of the disturbing attacks.

Nov. 22

The events began last Friday at U of T when a man lugged a bucket of liquid shit inside the John P. Robarts Research Library, pouring the contents on two unsuspecting students. Maybe it was supposed to be shock-inducing performance art about just how shitty school can be.

Nov. 24

In a sequel very similar to its predecessor, the second attack took place at the Scott Library at York University’s Keele campus. Yet again, students who are literally just trying to get to the end of the semester can’t do so in peace.

Nov. 25

The third and final act took place near College and McCaul streets, where a man dumped another bucket of liquid fecal matter on someone in the late hours of the night. The location of this attack is near Ryerson campus. Could this be where he was headed?

Nov. 26

Opoku was taken in by police on Tuesday night in connection to the attacks. Hopefully, this brings an end to the horrifyingly gross incidents reigning over the city. He was scheduled to appear in court Wednesday.

Comments

Leave a Comment