Advice: My nose is itchy, but I can’t touch my face. What do I do?

In COVID-19, Fun & SatireLeave a Comment

Reading Time: < 1 minute

By Andrea Josic

I’m sure this is frustrating, so let out a blood-curdling scream. That will alert your synapses that danger is imminent and your brain will immediately expect the end. When it doesn’t arrive, you will descend into a sweet, cathartic release of pure relief and ecstasy. Realistically speaking, you could do this once a day until the quarantine is over, and even after it’s over—if only to fully realign yourself. Once you have your emotions under wraps, you will transcend euphoria and be able to levitate with your new and improved consciousness. Upon opening your third eye, you will realize that you no longer belong to the shell of your body and that your soul must complete the journey it was meant to. If we aren’t actually real and this dimension isn’t real, your itch isn’t either.

Leave a Comment