By Manuel Shiner-Lewis
Hey, Fuck Gump.
There’s nothing—I mean nothing—that I am more sick of than the “Forrest Gump Debate.” Two separate groups of individuals, apparently capable of free thought, whining about a damn movie about some slow guy who does a whole bunch of stuff.
WHO CARES?
Some people liked it and thought it was sweet. Some people thought it was an insidious undermining of our entire culture that portrayed idiocy as an acceptable substitute for critical thought. One word for all you people out there fighting the Gump: Houseguest. There’s a LOT of stupidity out there that everyone seems willing to just let slide.
“But Gump might win an Oscar,” people whine. “Gump might be voted Best Picture.”
Again: who cares? I personally have never given a flying fig for the opinion of the Academy. Hell, they GAVE best picture to Rain Man, didn’t they? Have we forgotten that the academy gave KEVIN COSTNER a best director statue? Kevin Costner!!! Need I remind you that Ghost was nominated for best picture? Come to think of it, being given the approval of the Academy of Motion Drivel Arts and Politics tends to devalue a film, in my mind.
Gump isn’t UNDERMINING everybody. It’s not setting up any false values. What does Gump say? That the general public are a mass who seem to have collective cheese for brains, willing to adulate a simpleton as a great moral icon and lining insight. Is this news? Watch FOX for two hours at any given time and see if it says any different.
For some reason, people have taken offence to a piece of shit done well, and are haranguing about it, instead of spending time haranguing the countless pieces of shit done BADLY that seem to occupy all their other waking hours. And since all the Activists are waving their arms and screaming “GUMP BAD!” while all the sheep are waving their arms and screaming “GUMP GOOD!” nobody is bothering to stem the tide of crap that is rising around our ankles and threatening to drown us all.
In Gump’s favour, he does have some comedic possibilities. Think of the sequels that loom ahead: GUMP II: GUMP FICTION!
Gump vs Gimp. I’ll be there, baby.
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