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EntertainRANT: Casinos suck: March 15, 1995

By Dave Cameron

Rendered senseless by the flashing lights and incessant bells. Expecting something more than thieving slot machines and extravagant table games where the losses are quickly insurmountable. And above all else, entertaining false hopes of actually going home in the black.

A recent trip to Windsor’s faddish casino has obliterated the last ounce of faith I ever had in humanity. As thousands of people scramble over each other for an excellent chance to lose tons of money, operator and government officials quietly snicker at the blind masses.

My escorts to the border town had originally planned to spend a few hundred dollars each for a so-called “entertaining weekend of slots and blackjack.” this was a fleeting fantasy, indeed. We quickly discovered that the minimum bet for blackjack was $25 and weakly struggled on the slots, squandering $160 in only two hours. For the remainder of the trip, I was left alone to visit the casino, my companions just two more disappointed victims.

In an attempt to get a measure of the insanity, I conversed briefly with a handful of patrons. One guy from Detroit said he dumps up to $100 a week at the casino—and enjoys it! Of course, you wouldn’t know this by the way he slumps over the machine, staring blankly at the symbols that refuse to match up.

A lady who refused to talk (she was busy sucking her cigarette down to the butt in one breath) pumped about forty bucks into one machine in a matter of minutes. She simply couldn’t give her money away any faster. And when the slots did manage to spit up $20 or $30, it only convinced the foolish to persevere.

I did see one sweaty man win a cool thousand dollars. His expression, however, wasn’t one of happiness but of incredible relief. I would wager he had spent that much and more at Casino Windsor in previous weeks and was merely saved from mortgaging the house and selling his children.

Clearly the losers outnumber the winners, and the winners are only encouraged to continue gambling as there is always a larger jackpot to be had. The government expects to net $100 million annually from Windsor’s gaming house, and plans are moving along for massive expansion. This is less an entertainment industry than clever and subtle fundraising.

For those who enjoy a good gamble, that’s their business. But if this is a new trend of society—to throw themselves at the feet of machines—those individuals have more to think of than their own personal fortunes.

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