Facebook is an art. Learn it. Photo: Lindsay Boeckl

The unwritten rules of Facebook etiquette

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Everyone has seen the irritating phenomenon of a person who doesn’t understand the laws of the Facebook world. If you can’t recall this experience, that person is you. Biz and Tech Editor Sarah Del Giallo tells you what you’re doing wrong

Serial Liking

Most people scroll through their newsfeed and when something stands out that they whole-heartedly agree with, they’ll click “like.” Others are what we will call “serial likers.” For some reason, these people feel the need to like every single post. The “likee” becomes desensitized to anything liked by the serial liker. Further, the constant notifications your likes produce are annoying. Rather than being excited by an agreeing partner, the likee will be sad and disappointed that the only person agreeing with them is you.

Serial Friending

A serial friender is a person who adds people on a random and unnecessary basis. Facebook is a social networking site, but that doesn’t mean you should add anyone you’ve ever come into social contact with. We all have friends we haven’t spoken to since grade 10, but a serial friender will continue adding estranged acquaintances to up their friend count. If this is you, stop. The people you are adding almost definitely think you’re weird, because who adds their waitress at Oakham Cafe to Facebook?

Commenting on your own status (first)

If you are a sad and lonely human being you may be guilty of this. It’s an obvious cry for attention, and we all see your online insecurity. It doesn’t matter if it’s a good point. It doesn’t matter if you think it’s funny. What you’re trying to do is call attention to a status that was mundane and easily forgotten. When you bring it up on our newsfeeds for a second or third time, it is still mundane, but now also annoying. Stop it. Now.

Serial Defriending

Just as Facebook isn’t a place for random acquaintances, it isn’t a place for only your best friends. If you get into a minor disagreement with a Facebook friend, don’t delete them. If a Facebook friend disagrees with your status, don’t delete them. If a friend posts an unflattering photo, don’t delete them. It’s only a matter of time before you have no Facebook friends and the entire Facebook world has heard of that oversensitive asshole who can’t take a joke.

Photo Felonies

If we could do an entire page on photo felonies, we would. Don’t like every individual photo in an album — just like the album. Don’t tag every person at the party in a photo of you and a drunk girl. If they care to look, they’ll come across it and see how big her boobs were. And most importantly do not post obviously unflattering photos of your friends. It’s just a dick move. If you’re in the photo, everyone knows you’re trying to look better by comparison. If they’re alone, you’re a cruel and unusual douche bag. And nobody likes a douche bag. If you’re guilty of these, you may find yourself serially defriended.

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