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All Fun & Satire

LitFest attracts readers and writers from all over Ryerson

By Nathaniel Crouch

There was 6 Fest two years ago and there was indeed at least six people in attendance. Now that its scandal is behind Ryerson, a new festival has arrived to grab the attention of Ryerson students and staff. The Literature Festival, shorten by the Ryerson Students’ Union (RSU) to the LitFest, is a hub of writers and readers coming together to celebrate the world of literature.

Those most excited for the event are called ‘the bookies’, who dress up as their favourite book. Amanda Beroni, someone who looks exactly like the dentist’s niece from Finding Nemo, commented on her choice to dress up as her favourite book, Inkheart.

The feeling of waddling among a bunch of fellow book nerds while dressed as a book yourself? It is absolutely one-of-a-kind.”

Ram Ganesh, the RSU executive in charge of the event, was as always deflecting questions about what is going on. “This is LitFest, where everything is lit. I can’t comment about any literature but I know it’s lit.”

It cannot be said that all students are thrilled to discover the change. Some groups of third-years stumbled into the event, clearly expecting something else.

“I’m really at a loss. Where are all the mediocre light effects and musicians that only two people have heard of? That’s the festival I was promised,” said Tiffany Weiner, a literal embodiment of the words “just too much.”

Danny Strongjaw, one of the other members of the disappointed third-year group, was quickly turned into a bookie as he found a New Testament Bible with a “Supreme” logo on the bottom.

The event played host to many guests and moments for all things novel. Rick Riordan was there to announce a new book series and ended up accidentally confirming that despite new characters and setting, it’ll be very similar to Percy Jackson and The Olympians: The Lightning Thief. J.K. Rowling was supposed to make an appearance but she cancelled, just like she did with all of the heterosexual fanfictions involving Dumbledore.

A live Shakespeare reenactment took place right in the centre of it all. The only unfortunate thing was that the audience focused on getting really into the atmosphere of a Shakespeare play. It took security 45 minutes to calm everyone down after they really got into the idea of zero electricity, no mics for actors and of course, dysentery. No tomatoes were present for the presentation.

At the completion of the event, Ganesh was asked about the festival and how it compares to its predecessors. “This has been a lit fest, no doubt about it.” But while some are complaining about false advertising, Ganesh could only point out, “Hey, the good thing is that this can’t possibly lose people money.”

5 Comments

  1. Ron

    If you’re really trying to mirror journalism – which I’m assuming — you’re doing a bad job. Making comments within your article clearly critiquing or showing disagreement with a key figure of the RSU is not what journalism really is.

    • Comment by post author

      Nathaniel Crouch

      sat·ire
      /ˈsaˌtī(ə)r/
      noun
      the use of humour, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people’s stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues.

      • Ron

        …so the headline “Litfest attracts readers and writers from all over Ryerson” was part of the satire? I see that most most of this article of it gave facts about Litfest; relating to the headline — cool, and then randomly bringing up the 6Fest scandal at the start with mixing in attacks directed at Ganesh. Seems less satirical to me, no offense.

  2. Anon

    I loved this

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