By Sierra Finkelshtain
Welcome back to school everyone! ‘Tis the season for barren bank accounts after all the holiday shopping and festive outings you did during the break. Say “hello” to the real world; your credit score is in shambles and Santa’s dead now. Here are six suggestions for how you can cope and scrounge whatever you have left as we readjust to student life in an overpriced metropolitan jungle.
Deep breaths and drinking water will solve everything
So, you find yourself in a stressful situation. The ultimate first practice to remember is to relax and partake in some inexpensive self-care. Breathing exercises are a free and cost-efficient activity that has been proven to promote relaxation in the mind and body. We love oxygen!
It’s also important to stay healthy and hydrated by drinking water regularly, since drinking water is sure to solve all of life’s problems and world conflicts! Of course, as long as you cut purchasing expensive bottled water out of your budget and commit to only drinking from the tap and other natural sources, such as Lake Ontario.
Avoid paying for your commute. Walk…run…bike…literally anything else
This is definitely one of the savviest ways to both save money and ensure a smooth commute without major interruptions. If you live close to campus, use the PATH! It’s simple, just make sure you avoid the part that leads to the Eaton Centre’s tempting food courts and overpriced name-brand stores.
For those of you who commute from out of town, traveling to campus on foot has (probably) been proven to have many, many benefits. Who cares if you live in Whitby, Ont.? A daily 48 km walk never hurt anyone! Trekking to class will only bring an increase in personal fitness levels, allow you to be one with nature and will help you avoid the crippling fear that comes when Fare Inspectors board your GO train. Don’t worry, I’m sure you pay your fare.
Cancel your subscriptions and memberships
Once you start to make adjustments to what you would deem as “entertainment,” it’s time to purge your monthly subscriptions, create a few dozen email addresses and sign up for all the free trials you desire.
However, we would like to remind you that subscriptions to services such as Netflix or Spotify don’t bring fulfillment and can be easily reimagined through hallucination. Training your brain to dream up your favourite shows and movies is a cost-friendly way to boost your creativity and decrease your screen time. Hallucinating your favourite entertainment content is best when you stare at a blank wall while following the next step of this guide.
Simply stop having fun
Now that you’ve cleared your head, you need to adopt the following philosophy into your everyday choices: “Yes to saving, no to fun.” That’s right, fun is what’s holding you and your wallet back from achieving its desired thickness!
Remember to steer clear of nights out at the club, splurging on shopping trips, meeting up with friends and family, food delivery services and anything else you can think of that would help avoid creating a sad and grey existence. This is the key to your financial stability!
Get rid of your old textbooks
You probably paid a fortune for them for an open elective class you didn’t even have interest in taking. Either it’s never been opened or the pages are stained with tears from that one all-nighter you pulled before a midterm exam. Sell them for less than what you originally paid, you’ll probably still make thousands.
Sell some Christmas presents
Let’s be real, you didn’t really want that thrifted sweater under the tree or the stale gingerbread-scented candle you got from your Secret Santa anyway. Replenish your bank account by putting it all on Etsy! Someone will want it.
Don’t want to get rid of any of your own things? Just sell your siblings’ clutter! You can make a ton of revenue off of your 10-year-old sister’s skin care products from Sephora that she demanded to get for Christmas. Trust me, she doesn’t need a $40 retinol bottle from Drunk Elephant, but you definitely need the money. Get her interested in some other TikTok trend to distract her from it.