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A TMU student’s guide on how to be a professional inconvenience

By Adriana Fallico

We all have those moments when we overcomplicate simple situations and overthink what others will think of us. Here’s my hot take for Toronto Metropolitan University (TMU) students: embrace the complexity, it’s good for you. As a professional inconvenience myself, I find that I live a very stress-free—and occasionally insane—life when I seize as much chaos as I can. 

Here’s a few ways you can be the absolute best version of yourself—an absolute menace to society. 

Use “shortcuts” to get to class, even if you don’t know how to use them

With the Toronto weather acting batshit crazy, it’s hard to anticipate what the temperature will be on a day-to-day basis. With the temperature expected to drop into the negatives at some point (probably), the idea of walking outside isn’t appealing. The solution? Take an indoor detour instead of braving the outdoors. Besides, it’s always nice to get in some extra steps before rotting in class for a few hours.

Despite the benefits, it’s pretty easy to get lost along the way to class. Take one wrong turn and you’re completely lost into the TMU abyss. You can lean into the role of an “inconvenience” by asking random people where your lecture hall is when they clearly have their own places to be. But hey, if you end up showing up four hours and 55 minutes late to a five-hour class because you somehow ended up in the basement of Kerr Hall, I would say that you still learned something new that day.

Take your sweet time to slay (I mean get ready)

If you claim to have never been late for an event because you took a while  getting ready, I’d probably call you a liar. I personally have no concept of time, so one minute I think I have lots of time to get ready and the next I’m an hour late. 

However, in my opinion, it’s always better to be fashionably late rather than not show up at all. The last thing you want is to have anything go wrong, like having your hair out of place, a concealer that doesn’t  blend perfectly into your skin or an outfit that just isn’t giving. 

Who cares if you show up too late to participate in the event anyway? You look great and that’s probably all that matters. Honestly, if you have to sacrifice your timeliness to guarantee that you’re the star of the show, it’s worth it.

Be a teacher’s pet, everyone loves to see it 

I feel like it’s pretty reasonable to go above and beyond to get on your professor’s good side. Besides, at the end of the day, your grades are in their hands. 

I recommend that you always compliment your prof on their outfits, answer every question they ask during class and be sure to include a ton of follow-up questions that aren’t related to the course content. You can even bring them a coffee before the lecture starts to show how stellar of a student you are. If anyone hates on you for this, that’s their problem, not yours. 

Take everything literally

I like to consider myself to be a pretty sarcastic person, but there are some moments where I deeply fail at recognizing sarcasm. Despite this, I tend to take people for their word on everything they say even if it’s as obvious as the day is sunny. But where’s the harm in that?

So, even in those moments when you know someone is obviously being sarcastic, simply believe them. For example, if your classmate jokes that you should both drop out of your program instead of doing another assigned reading, immediately pull out MyServiceHub and select ‘permanent program withdrawal.’ 

Show them you’re serious about this change and more importantly, will do anything to prove you understand where they’re coming from.

Lose your OneCard? Don’t bother replacing it

Scavenging your wallet and pockets to find your OneCard is a canon event for TMU students. I can’t count the amount of times I’ve reached into my wallet and felt my heart drop, realizing the lifeline to my campus entry is missing. While I tend to find it in the inner depths of my schoolbag or underneath my feet on the subway, the moment of panic isn’t a very pleasant one.  

Rather than paying the $35 fee for a new one, I always suggest that students put it off for as long as possible by asking their friends to borrow theirs to get around campus. Can this get on people’s nerves? Maybe, but remember you have places to be and people to meet. 

My personal favourite activity is waiting outside the doors of a campus building for someone else to dig through their pockets to find theirs. Yes, it can be annoying for them, but a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.

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