By Scoop W. Gerbil

Disclaimer: Much like the moaning in adult films, this article is distractingly fake.

As the job market worsens, the film and television industries continue to become filled with Netflix slop that looks greyer than a koala. Following this, many RTA students at Toronto Metropolitan University have left their conventional dreams behind for a surprisingly more stable option: working in the adult film industry. 

While getting your foot in the door for film and TV can feel impossible, getting your foot in the door with pornography is almost too easy as the door is huge and can fit about 10 to 15 feet, making it a prime job opportunity for young and upcoming students that want their dreams crushed.

“A lot more fuckin’, suckin’ and much better pay” 

Amelia Hardon, an aspiring screenwriter and fourth-year student said she finds that writing for smutty films fills her with all kinds of things…mainly emotions.

“I find it’s not too different from the Wattpad stories I wrote about the two hot professors I had in first year,” noted Hardon with a smirk. “Plus it’s much easier. I mean you just gotta figure out the beginning of each one, they typically all end the same.”

Hardon stated that it’s been an easy adjustment for her to make, since “writing smut has always been a fun pastime for me but now I get to actually put it on the screen, which is more than I can say for my regular scripts.”

Unfortunately for them every adult film needs editors to comb through hours and hours of footage (or minutes and minutes of footage depending on stamina).RTA graduate Richard Stiffler has taken the plunge to fill in that role and fill it in good. 

“Every time I close my eyes at night I see 15 different penises flailing around”

Stiffler described the work as similar to editing short films, just with “a lot more fuckin’, suckin’ and  much better pay.” 

 He added that living with three roommates and sharing an office had led to confusing circumstances while editing at home. 

“It’s kind of awkward to be editing porn with your roommates around but honestly they can’t judge since they be making their own porno’s all night long as far as my ears are concerned,” said Stiffler. 

Two ambitious third-year students, Shooter Neked  and Jordan Wettley, were tired of not finding opportunities on film sets and hopped onto the opportunities provided by adult films, of which there are seemingly many.

“Always carry some extra lube, you never know”

“It’s given me great experience working with a camera,” said Neked, “and even though every time I close my eyes at night I see 15 different penises flailing around, at least I’m in a union.”

Wettley, who took up the role of being a boom mic operator on set, said “It isn’t as bad as you think it would be, or at least not in my mind. To be honest the sounds I hear on set aren’t too different from what I heard through the walls of Pitman for an entire year, so I’m used to it.” 

Neked and Wettley both gave the same advice to those looking to work on an adult film set: “Always carry some extra lube, you never know when it’ll
be needed.”