By Dee S. Troy

Disclaimer: While TMU doesn’t actually intend on tearing any of these places down, I’m sure at some point in the future they probably will. 

Following this summer’s demolition of the once sacred Toronto landmark, the Imperial Pub, in favour of a new 21-storey Toronto Metropolitan University (TMU) residence, Facilities Management and Development has announced a list of buildings it plans to demolish next. These places will be torn down to make way for big buildings that are so big… mmmfgghh. 

Atrium on Bay

This 1,000,000-square-foot retail and office complex, as the name suggests, is on Bay Street, right across from campus. The building is home to a Muji, an LCBO where first-years flaunt their fake IDs and the worst St. Louis Bar & Grill in all of Ontario (though that’s not a high bar). Following a totally legal procurement by TMU, the school will be tearing down the complex to make way for a second Kerr Hall (which will be called Kerr Hall extra-West) and will make finding and navigating the first one even harder. 

The Tenor

While the anti-loitering music played outside this building may be loud, the sound of the bulldozers getting ready to tear it down to dust are even louder. In place of this complex filled with overpriced restaurants, an overpriced movie theatre and overpriced bowling, TMU plans to put an overpriced residence capable of housing up to almost 100 students. Sign up for the waitlist now and you’ll only be 19,670th
in line!

Sankofa Square

Whether you call it Yonge–Dundas or Sankofa soon won’t matter now that TMU has its grubby hands on the deed to this property. TMU plans to tear down the square and replace it with several new alleyways where urine can run free.

Lake Ontario America

Newly renamed Lake America is apparently the perfect place to expand the ever-expanding TMU campus. With a proposal set for late 2031, TMU plans to drain the entirety of the lake, fill it with dirt and build a large swimming pool on top of it for recreation and leisure. 

City Hall

Everyone knows this iconic Toronto office building, the home to Toronto’s leaders and all the crack that they have smoked there. This curvy building will forever be known as “that thing that used to be where the president’s tower now stands.” In place of the structure, TMU plans to put a fresh and new 1,000-storey tall president’s building that will house the lineage of future TMU presidents’ for millennium to come. 

Campus

TMU is planning on tearing down the TMU campus and replacing it with a new, better TMU campus instead of the boring old TMU campus that already exists. According to the recently-released plans, where Kerr Hall South is where Kerr Hall North will be, where the MAC is now the RAC will be, the RAC will be where VIC is and VIC will be where Kerr Hall East is now, the SCC and RCC will swap and the Monetary Times building will stay in its place because contractors aren’t sure where it currently is. 

The Entire City of Toronto

On Feb. 3, 2032 a bomb will be dropped on the Toronto and a new city will be born. A city filled with beauty, a city filled with learning and grit, one that’s Bold and Metropolitan. A new dawn for a new TMU. And as a new day dawns on a beautiful university campus spanning across what once was the City of Toronto, Mohamed Lachemi and Roberta Iannacito-Provenzano will finally rest and watch the sun rise on a grateful university.