
Read all the stories from the issue:

Poilievre falls into well, party doesn’t notice for 10 days
BY AYE ONE

Toronto Mayor to reach landmark agreement with King of the Rats
BY PIP SQUEAK

Mark Carney is Chinamaxxing
BY CENTRE RIGHT

Devil, Lord Voldemort to join Trump’s Board of Peace
BY EVE AISLE

Show you like actually blows
BY ROBERT REGERT

Trump arrests your dad, liberates living room recliner
BY ANDY MERICA

Fear not: Trade deal with Antarctica to save industry from American threat
BY D.L.

I need to grow a penis to be a business journalist
BY A…WOMAN?

Amazon to acquire Walmart, you
BY THE BIG LEBOWSKI

Balloon prices inflate, rise to new heights
BY LAYLA TEX

Cockroaches priced out of Toronto housing market
BY ANA LISS

Can he do no wrong?: “Mark Carney spat on my baby and I was still charmed”
BY REALLY COLD

World Cup allegedly a “big deal,” claims alleged ‘expert’
BY BEATRICE BALL’OCKEY

Why protests were good when I did them and bad when you do them
BY A. BOOMER

This $8.6 million condo will make you throw up in your mouth
BY HAU SINGH

Wizzle’s slonk the Slackers nill bill
BY SPORTS BALL

Why don’t women in movies ever get yeast infections?
BY LAUREN WINDSOR-KINKAID







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