Author: zach roman

2 fast, 3 furious You press the button for floor two, followed by the close door button (you impatient little shit), preparing yourself for a quick trip up to the next floor and hoping that Lachemi’s office is there. Better to try one floor at a time right? You think to yourself: “This must be […]

It’s a bold move, let’s see if it pays off When the door opens you are greeted by the unholy sight of Egerton Ryerson T-posing. It isn’t the asshole himself back from the dead—it’s the statue of him from Gould Street. AND IT’S TALKING. AND OH FUCK, IT CAN MOVE TOO. Egerton blasts his arms […]

Greetings, traveler You arrive at Jorgensen Hall, exhausted from your travels but still in one piece. And you have managed to not lose the secret letter either. Hooray! As you walk through the building and into the elevator, you are presented with a tough decision: Go to floor 2 Go to floor 8 Go to […]

Lucky number 13. Wondering why you didn’t just check a map earlier, you take the elevator up to floor 13, where Ryerson president Mohamed Lachemi’s office is not hidden at all. It’s right there, just waiting to be found. In fact, there are even signs leading to it. You knock on the door. “Who is […]